Monday, April 30, 2007

I Fell Down Some Stairs: A Blog in Photos

I was drunk, it was my birthday party, we got in a cake fight, I had frosting on my shoes, and I was trying to run (walk briskly; let's be honest) from the police. This is the unfortunate consequence:

Day 2:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Day 7:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Day 16:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Helpful Hint of the Day

If you are feeling dried out and want to put on some chapstick and lotion, make sure you put on the chapstick first. Otherwise, you probably won't be able to pull the lid off of the chapstick once you have lotion all over your hands. It can get ugly.

Sunday, April 29, 2007


I know it shouldn't matter, but every time I see myself in someone's Top Whatever on Myspace I feel really good about myself, especially if I'm number one.

Driving to Mount Hermon

I am writing this from Smurf's computer while she takes a shower. I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with her shift key, so please excuse any missed capitalizations. On my way over here (total drive time: 6 minutes) I was having a conversation in my head - don't act like you don't do it too. In this conversation, I was being my usual hilarious and loquacious self and I made a funny joke to the boy I like. The joke in my head was so funny that I laughed out loud, then proceeded to run a red light because I was laughing so hard that I wasn't paying attention to my driving. I am basically so into myself that I cannot be bothered to submit to basic traffic safety laws. This is an all-time low.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Livin' The Dream

Coming home last night was the best thing I could have possibly done. Instead of wasting another day sitting around my room with all my friends out of town (all meaning that the three people I hang out with just happened to leave this weekend), I laid at the beach. It was probably 80 degrees and there was a nice little breeze. Is it lame that I go to the beach alone? I used to think that other people would think I had no friends, which is sort of true; I have no friends that aren't working. Double negative. Gross. This is going nowhere, I'm cutting myself off now.

Friday, April 27, 2007

So I'm Starting This Blog...

I was basically inspired by Smurf to move away from myspace and find a spot where I can talk about myself all the time without having to interact with other people. I don't really know what the point of this is, except that I blog in my head all day long and maybe it will be good for me to actually write these things down. I hope it doesn't turn out to be really emo and disgusting or else I'll be forced to delete it. I also hope someone actually reads it, because if there's no one feeding my ego, then what's the point? I guess I'll go post all my old myspace blogs on here now, but before that, one of the funniest things I have ever seen:

Longest Survey Compilation Ever

Read at your own risk, it's a good way to kill a few minutes.

Here's my top fives, stolen from your friend and mine, Ms. Cassady Clark:

Favorite Movies:
1. Drop Dead Gorgeous
2. Little Miss Sunshine
3. The Departed
4. Forrest Gump
5. Beauty and the Beast/Shrek (tie)

Favorite Musicals:
1. I
5. Scrubs: The Musical

Favorite TV Shows:
1. The Office
2. White Rapper Show
3. Scrubs
4. SNL
5. Engaged & Underage

Biggest Guilty Pleasures:
1. 'NSync
2. Hanson
3. Breakfast meats
4. My Super Sweet Sixteen
5. $hamrock

Favorite Songs to Sing Along To:
1. Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
2. Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid
3. Sunday Morning - Maroon 5
4. Will You Be There (Free Willy Song) - Michael Jackdon
5. Gone - Ben Folds

Favorite Bands:
1. Bloc Party
2. 'NSync
3. Hanson
4. Snow Patrol
5. Belle & Sebastian? I don't listen to a lot of bands...

Favorite Singers:
1. Justin Timberlake
2. Sufjan Stevens
3. Kanye West
4. Kelly Clarkson
5. Mariah Carey

Favorite Songs:
1. My Love - Justin Timberlake
2. Helicopter - Bloc Party
3. Casimir Pulaski Day - Sufjan Stevens
4. Zak & Sara - Ben Folds
5. Pedigree/Forest Whitaker/Blah Blah Blah – Brother Ali

Favorite Foods:
1. Ketchup
2. Cheeseburgers
3. Pastries
4. Hash browns
5. Asparagus

Board Games:
1. Monopoly
2. Life
3. Uno (I'm including card games)
4. Pictionary
5. 500 Rummy

Favorite Authors:
1. David Sedaris
2. JK Rowling
3. Sophie Kinsella
4. Wally Lamb
5. John Irving

Favorite Books:
1. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
2. Naked
3. Middlesex
4. Catch-22
5. The World According to Garp

Dream Jobs:
1. Nurse on Scrubs
2. Dunder Mifflin Assistant to the Regional Manager
3. Baby Monkey Wrangler at the zoo
4. Puppy Snuggler
5. Matt Damon's housewife

Living People You Want To Meet:
1. Matt Damon
2. Jon Stewart - I feel like we would get along really well
3. Paul Dano
4. David & Amy Sedaris (package deal)
5. The Dudes (They count as one person - I agree, Cassady)

Dead People You Want To Meet:
1. Steve Irwin
2. Stonewall ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Jackson
3. James K. Polk
4. Saddam Hussein
5. My old guinea pigs, Winnie and Hopper

Ficitonal Charactes You Want To Meet (by far the hardest category):
1. Remus Lupin
2. Jim Halpert
3. Colin Sullivan
4. Albus Dumbledore
5. Dwayne from Little Miss Sunshine

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Stolen from Ducky:

Go to your page and list the last fifteen people who have commented you. If someone has commented twice, skip to the next new commentor.

1. Meagen
2. AnnE
3. Cassady
4. Ducky
5. Squirt
6. Smurf
7. Madeline
8. Gen
9. Nate
10. Dom
11. Libby
12. Hayley
13. Laura
14. Tessina
15. Trinity

Have you ever kissed 4?
Probably on the forehead or the cheek or something….my love language is touch!

Whats the fondest memory you have of 10:
Ha, when we were like 4 or 5 and we played house on my kitchen floor with the rugs. So dirty, but so fun.

Why are you friends with 9?
We share a mutual love of Brother Ali, Ninja Turtles, and being loud in public. Also, we worked at Mount Hermon, but we weren't actually friends then…weird.

When's the next time you're gonna see 6?
HOPEFULLY sometime this weekend, but probably not actually until Wednesday night/Thursday.

Tell something juicy about number 15:
She won't give me back my damn green sweater.

What do you like about 8?
What DON'T I like about number 8? She's the best ever.

Is number 5 attractive?
She is a stone-cold fox. I'm totally gay for her.

What was your first impression of 7?
She looks like she belongs at Day Camp! (sorry Madeline, just being honest here…)

Physically, what stands out with 1?
She's blonde? She's got great boobs too…Greasy hair?

What was 12's comment about?
Well it's kind of a long story…She wanted to know how life was since she left our room, I told her I thought she stole my deodorant, she claimed Meagen probably took it, then we agreed that that situation was highly unlikely since Meagen doesn't wear deodorant.

When and how did you meet 3?
In seventh grade she decided she hated all her friends from elementary school and started hanging out with my elementary friends, then we realized that we were made to be best pals.

Do you think 13 could kill someone?
Oh Lord yes. That girl is hardcore!

Is 11 your best friend?
No, but I like her very much. :o)

Have you seen 3 naked?
Well if you total together all of the times I've seen her partially dressed while changing it probably adds up to naked, but never really full-frontal, which is impressive because we've been friends for like 8 years.

Have you ever had a crush on 14?
She's a girl…so yes.

Would you ever kiss 6?
I would kiss her ALL THE TIME if she weren't so touch-phobic.

Do you think 2 has a crush on you?
No, she has a crush on her black friend, Nick.

Who do you spend the most time with?
Meagen or Smurfy when I'm home. Most online time spent with Squirt.

Stolen from Madeline:

Summer Questions:

1) Favorite Cook Out food?
cheeseburgers and pasta salad of course

2) Favorite summer drink?
lots of cold water, gotta stay hydrated yall!

3) What do you look forward to when summer comes?
NOT GOING TO SCHOOL, hanging out with smurfy for like a month before summer staff starts, going to see Brother Ali, Daft Punk, etc.

4) Do you join any sports?
is this a joke?

5) Do you wear a one-piece or two piece?
two, but it's very conservative

6) Would you rather it be winter?
only when it's like 110 degrees and I'm trying to have a freaking Dorypalooza and no one wants to hang out because it's too hot to even move…slash I love Christmas so yes?

7) How many times do you hit the beach?
at least weekly…AT LEAST.

8) How many BBQ's do you have?
well I personally have like 2 but the family all together probably has about 70 million.

9) What time do you go to bed in the summer?
never, summertime's not for sleep!

10) Do you go camping?
I used to but not so much. I kind of live where most people camp so…

Summer - This Or That:

1) Flip-Flops or shoes?
none of the above

2) Beach or Pool?
Secret Beach Where The Sun Is Always Shining

3) Bug-Bite or Sun burn?
bug bites, I don't want to look like a crusty old lady when I'm 30 THANKS.

4) Layout or fake bake?
naps on the beach?

5) Hit the clubs or BBQ'S?
wow those both sound horrible unless I'm hosting the BBQ

6) In a relationship or single?
ugh I think if you know me at all you know the answer to that one…

7) Hang with friends or Family?
All of them together at my house eating cheeseburgers and pasta salad and holding the chickens

Last Summer - 2006:

1) How old were you June 2006?

2) Did you go to Geauga Lake/Cedar Point?

3) What Vacations did you go on?
um well I didn't really go anywhere. I worked at the Herm and I went to lots of concerts.

4) Who did you hang with everyday?
my mommy and friends at le Herm.

5) What was the worst memory of last summer?
I don't know if Hispanic Weekend counts as summer but that pretty much suuuuuuucked…

6) How did you celebrate the Fourth of July?
made the Jew some cupcakes since it was her BIRTHDAY, went home and fell asleep circa 9:45…livin' the dream.

7) What was one thing you did EVERY week last summer?
sang the grey squirrel song…I guarantee I did that EVERY week, even in infants

9) Favorite summer 2006 clothing item?
my sunglasses which now reside at the bottom of lake san Antonio…RIP.

10) Favorite song?
SEXY BACK! FREE WILLY SONG! CRAZY! Basically just those.

This Summer - 2007:

1) Where will you be going on vacation?
somewhere tropical with the fam for dad's 50th bday, hollaaaa!

2) How will you celebrate the Fourth of July?
I will be DRUNK with the JEW who will be TWENTY ONE!

3) The best place to be this summer?
the Secret Beach Where The Sun Is Always Shining or probably Smurf's house, or probably the Keller's too.

4) What are you looking forward to?
being the childcare fairy with smurfy, spending a lot of time at the Keller's before AnnE peaces out for f-ing Chile, lying on the beach with the Jew, going on a field trip to Oregon to see Madeline/Brother Ali, Daft Punk in July, HARRY FREAKING POTTER. I think that about covers it :o)

Stolen from Scruggsy:


1. last beverage? water

2. last phone call? Smurf

4. last cd played? Daft Punk

5. last time you cried? Wednesday, a lot.

6. last text message?Received: AnnE – "Eh dude I feel like such a scenester listening to death cab in my straight jeans." Sent: To Anne – "Did I already mention that I hate you?" CLASSIC.


1. dated someone?? ugh

2. been cheated on?? no

3. kissed someone & regretted it?? no?

4. lost someone special? ? Steve Irwin

5. been depressed?? of course, I'm 20.

6. been drunk and threw up? ? no actually, ask around. I'm the best drunk ever.


1. purple

2. green

3. pink


1. Made a new friend? I think so…

2. Fallen out of love ? ha, no.

3. Laughed until you cried ? weekly

4. Met someone who changed your life? maybe? Nothing's changed yet but maybe down the road? Who knows?

5. Found out who your true friends were ? I already knew that?

6. Is there something you want to tell someone?? yes, I want to tell you all that I have to poo.

7. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends?? basically all of them multiple times, $hamrock would be the most exciting though.

8. How many people on your top friends do you know in real life?? all but f-ing $hamrock.

9. How many kids do you want to have?? no less than 17 but no more than 22.

10. Do you have any pets?? 2 dogs, 2 cats, turtle, fish, chickens, horse

11. Do you wanna change your name?? I used to but not anymore.

12. What did you do for your last birthday?? imbibed, ate Ben & Jerry's, went to dinner with the fam, had a party the weekend before

13. What time did you wake up today?? 11:13, don't judge me.

14. What were you doing at 10:30 last night?? Sitting in the library talking to MacKenzie

15. Name something you CANNOT wait for? May 16th

16 Last time you saw your father?? um Sunday?

17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Be more relaxed and go with the flow a little bit more easily

18. What are you listening to? ? Brother Ali – "Truth Is"

19. have you ever talked to Tom?? Cassady's dad? Yes. Fun fact: he gave me the nickname V-Smack.

23. Who's getting on your nerves? ? I'd rather not say, I'm trying to be less bitchy and it's not fair to be mad at someone for irritating you when they don't even know they're doing it.

24. Most visited webpage?? facebook/myspace/aol ßme too Laura!

25. Coke or Pepsi?? coke really really cold

26. Have you seen anyone naked in the past week?? Meagen of course.

"Let's Talk On AIM Sometime..." Vol.II

I'm going to keep posting conversations I find hilarious. Tonight with AnnE:

Vanessa2you (12:45:06 AM): :-(
Vanessa2you (12:45:09 AM): emoticon
bestdbspaz(12:45:13 AM): boo
Vanessa2you (12:45:18 AM): I'm feeling so emotional I had to use an emoticon
bestdbspaz (12:45:32 AM): that make me pity you
Vanessa2you (12:46:00 AM): your grammar makes me pity you

Thursday, April 12, 2007

"Let's Talk On AIM Sometime..."

This is what happens when Squirt tells me she's coming to visit...

Vanessa2you.(12:00:38 PM): yes!
Vanessa2you (12:00:39 PM): yes!
Vanessa2you(12:00:42 PM): oh my gosh yes!
squirtadero(12:00:10 PM): OH..... I AM COMING!!!!
Vanessa2you(12:00:49 PM): that's a little sexual
squirtadero(12:00:22 PM): No doubt about it... i don't know when
squirtadero(12:00:24 PM): ew...
Vanessa2you(12:01:01 PM): wow you just took it to the next level