Sunday, March 30, 2008

What if we were dfriends with Rob abd biG?

How fun would that be?!! All they do is fun hilarious things and they habve some really realy crazy antics!! I want to be their friend and we could be really fun together becuase I am a really fun and funny gal and they are very fun and funny too! I don't even want to makeout with htnme or anything Ijust think they would be fun friedns. Rob and big, fi you read this, let's be friends and you can come tovegas tor my birthday!!!! We will do hilarious an tics a nd have so soso much fun adn you can pay for everything but I will make it up to you by being really good company!! THINK ABOUT IT!!! Please post yotur comments on what you would do if you wer fiends with rob and big!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Fancy Pants

I just bought some panties that go from my knees to my boobs. If I can't get any action wearing these then I am officially a lost cause.

I can see the Bridget Jones moment now...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

As Promised: Blog About My Grandma

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of meeting Grandma Jean, let me preface this blog by informing you that Grandma suffers from Alzheimer's. That being said, let's take a moment to delve into the crazy world of Jean Smith.

Grandma Jean is almost 75, yet still gets carded when she requests a senior discount at the movies or restaurants. After briefly meeting my grandmother for the first time, my former roommate described her as a "total babe." Grandma Jean has looked exactly the same for my entire childhood and now that I am almost 21 (!!!), I still can't see a difference. She is like an immigrant version of Liza Minelli - ageless and more and more fantastic by the year.

As previously mentioned, my grandma is an immigrant. She came to America from Italy when she was really little and lived in Pennsylvania (which is now and will forever be referred to as "Back East") for most of her life. This first-generation upbringing lead to a mishmash of cultures at each family celebration. Regardless of the holiday, an array of Italian food will be offered in addition to the traditional dishes. Christmas usually involves prime rib alongside lasagna and gnocchi, Easter with ham and manicotti, and Thanksgiving with turkey and cioppino. In recent years my dad and his siblings have begun to take over the duties of cooking all the Italian foods, but regardless, it still makes me think of my grandma when I have to strategically arrange my turkey and cranberry sauce around a giant meatball in marinara sauce.

The best part about my grandma is that she still thinks she is living in the 1940's. After a recent trip to San Francisco with my mom to visit me, she slipped me a $5 bill and told me to "put it in my piggy bank." Later, while driving home, she proudly told my mom that she had given me "a little spending money." When my mom heard that is was $5, she told grandma that it was a very nice gesture and I could get a whole gallon of gas. My grandma's response: "Yes, she COULD get some gas!" What a gem.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Your Shitty Music Is Interrupting My Mariah Carey

Stop making your damn music play on your 'Space. Every time I want to leave you a comment or look at your new pictures or stalk what other people are saying to you the first three chords of your favorite new shitty song blast into life over the Mariah Carey that I was so enjoying. In the time it takes me to find the f-ing player, I have missed my favorite line of the Mariah Carey song. Way to go asshole. Disable your player.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I'm Really Busy Right Now

But I have a lot of really important blogs that I want to share with you. I don't have time to do it now, but here's a list of topics that I need to cover ASAP:

1. My Grandma
2. "Absurd"
3. Blogs about lists of things to blog

That's all I can think about now, but it's up to you, faithful readers, to make sure I follow through.

Here's a fun little fact to get you through the day: in a clinical write-up to turn into my teacher, I put that a pregnant woman came into the clinic complaining of vaginal breeding. If you didn't get it the first time, read it again.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Let's Talk on AIM Sometime: AnnE Keller's Crowning Glory

[12:02] bestdbspaz: im on page 8 of 17 of these fucking nots
[12:02] bestdbspaz: notes
[12:02] bestdbspaz: about nots
[12:02] bestdbspaz: ha
[12:02] Vanessa2you: knots
[12:02] Vanessa2you: but good try
[12:03] Vanessa2you: it gave me a laugh anyway
[12:03] Vanessa2you: I am LOLing all over the place around here!!!!!!
[12:03] bestdbspaz: damn
[12:03] bestdbspaz: ive been writing it nots all day but i new it wasnt right, but my enlish has gotten so bad, i couldnt figure it out
[12:03] bestdbspaz: shit playa
[12:04] Vanessa2you: oh my god
[12:04] Vanessa2you: you know I'm going to have to blog this?
[12:04] bestdbspaz: wow, thanks
[12:04] bestdbspaz: i understand
[12:04] bestdbspaz: do what you have to do
[12:04] Vanessa2you: thank you for your blessing
[12:05] bestdbspaz: put this last bit of the conversation in to
[12:05] Vanessa2you: and singing along
[12:05] bestdbspaz: i think its a killer
[12:05] Vanessa2you: can do

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Best Night Ever/Worst Day EVER.

Best night ever!!!

Worst day ever.