Sunday, July 4, 2010

I Like To Read A Lot...

BBC believes most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.
How do your reading habits stack up?

Copy this into our NOTES. Look at the list and put an 'y' after those you have read.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen -
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien -
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte -
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling-- Y
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee - Y
6 The Bible - Y
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte - Y
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell -
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens -

Total: 2

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott - Y
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy -
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller - Y
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare-
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien-
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger - Y
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger - Y
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

Total: 4

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell -
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald - Y
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens -
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy -
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams -
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh -
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky -
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck - Y
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll -
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame - Y

Total: 3

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy - Y
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens -
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis - Y
34 Emma - Jane Austen -
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis - Y
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hossein - Y
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden - Y
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne - Y

Total: 6

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell - Y
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown - Y
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez - Y, ugh
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving - Y
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery - Y
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood-
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding -
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan -

Total: 5

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel-
52 Dune - Frank Herbert -
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons -
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen -
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens - Y
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley - Y
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Total: 2

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck -
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov - Y
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold -- Y
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas -
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac - Y
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding - Y
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville -

Total: 4

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens - Y
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker--
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett- Y
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno - Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt -

Total: 2

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens - Y
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker - Y
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert -
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White - Y
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom -
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle-
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

Total: 3

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad - Y
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery -
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams -
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas -
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare - Y
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl - Y
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo -

Total: 3

Grand total: 36

Hot damn! Also, happy 4th of July.

Friday, June 25, 2010


I know what you're thinking, I got super motivated to blog and then I posted like twice and bitched out. NOT SO, faithful readers! A lot has happened since I last posted - here's a brief recap:

May 11 - 24th: work like a madwoman, save hella babies, snuggle hella babies, pack up my shit and head HOME!
May 25 - June 2nd: lovely vacation to see the fam in California, some general malaise but all in all a great trip
June 3rd- June 25th: DYING.

Now when I say dying, I mean I really thought I was going to die.My tonsils were so inflamed and pus-covered that they were almost touching. I couldn't eat, I could barely breathe, and I couldn't sleep because every time I would finally fall asleep I would completely lose my airway, choke, and wake up. The eventual diagnosis after three trips to the doctor and a delightful night in the emergency department: mono, compounded with a resistant type of strep throat that didn't respond to the first TWO rounds of antibiotics. For your viewing pleasure, here's a delightful shot of my tonsils a couple days after I hit the emergency department but a few days short of me finally starting the right drugs. Keep in mind, they were almost touching my uvula and the pus what what the doctor referred to as "mounded" by the time I finally got treated.

So now here I am, one week, four shots of Rocephin in the ass, and one visit from Mommy later, still exhausted and a little nauseous from the mono and ready to rock this blog for the remainder of my bedrest. Get excited people! You're gonna know more about me then you ever wanted!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


In my mind, "pregnant" is synonymous with "designated driver." To the 12 nurses I work with who are currently pregnant, keep your phones on this weekend... things might get a little out of control.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Why We Shouldn't Have Taught My Mom How To Use Text Messages

"Mommy loves her card! And that it was important that it was here on time [preface: I sent her card express mail so it got there by Mother's Day]! I love U. Mom"

Happy Mother's Day Mom, I love your bitch ass too.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Last Published on May 18, 2009

Yikes, all that talk about blog resurrection and BOOM! It's almost a year later and I still haven't posted. Well readers, here's your god damn update. Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo. This is what happened:

Yup. That's a Mexican flag made out of Jell-O shots. The best part is, that Mexican flag is still intact on a cookie sheet in my fridge today, el Seis de Mayo. That Mexican flag is, in fact, only about 1/3 of the Jell-O shots we created on el Cuatro de Mayo. You may be asking yourself, "Vanessa, did you have a big Cinco de Mayo party? Why else would you make so many Jell-O shots?" Well no, readers, I didn't have a damn Cinco de Mayo party. I had two friends come over and we sat on my porch and ate about thirty Jell-O shots each. Now you may be saying, "Vanessa, why?! Why would you make so many Jell-O shots for just three people to sit around and eat them?!? WHY?!?!?!!"

Because, asshole. Jell-O shots are fucking delicious.