Muffins and Milk

I have decided that I'm tired of being fat, so I'm going on a diet. This diet basically consists of me not eating so damn much food but eating small meals more often. I kicked it off about an hour ago with a muffin and a carton of milk. I can't see this going very well, but I suppose we'll find out. In other news, yesterday was a good day. Somehow I ended up with one of Ducky's flip flops and an awesome tan. What more could a girl want? Blue Pig is becoming kind of a big deal. He got a prime seat on the Listener merchandise table last night at their show, which is pretty exciting for a piggy from such humble roots (Ikea). Blue Pig's got big plans for this summer: a field trip to Oregon to meet up with Brother Ali, doing rounds at Mount Hermon, and perhaps even a flight to North Carolina to meet up with Squirty and get some Southern lovin'. If you haven't been introduced to Blue Pig yet, make sure to meet up with him on his MySpace. I guess that's all for now.

Charitable Giving

People tonight seem to think I'm a lot drunker than I actually am. This blog will prove to them that I'm basically sober, I just got a little crazy for a while there. Grandma Shirley's 75th birthday party was today and I think only three people total were not drunk. I haven't had that much fun in a long time. On to charitable giving, our subject for today's blog. Every summer the powers that be at Mount Hermon hit up all the incoming summer staff workers for a donation from each of their paychecks (keep in mind said summer staffers are making a maximum of $250 each week). They claim that, Mount Hermon being a non-profit organization, the rely solely on donations from caring people to fund their scholarship program for slightly poorer rich families to come and complain about what classroom their child is in. Anyway, I digress. The point is, a lot of workers end up throwing down about five bucks a month in donations to Mount Hermon. This year, however, summer staff's got a whole new pitch to look forward to. I will be taking Blue Pig around from department to department (Child Care, Day Camp, Dining, etc.) to try and raise money and awareness for the Nate Curry Tattoo Fund. Who is Blue Pig and what is this Fund that I speak of? Take your ass over to Blue Pig's MySpace and find out for yourself.

Motivate Me

I'm so tired. I don't want to write this blog. I don't have anything to write about. I have no motivation. I've been trying to be nice lately and I don't think it's working. I'm feeling kind of emo. Weekends do this to me.

Guilty Blog

I know, I know, I missed a day. I feel like I've let down my multitude (four) of faithful readers. I'm sorry, I really really am. To make up for it, here's the blog I would have written yesterday:

Today I spent about two hours finally cleaning out the shitbucket that is my car. I vaccuumed, I Windexed, hell, I even Armor-Alled. During this time of purification I came across some really interesting stuff. Here's a brief inventory:
- 11 empty water bottles
- 3 partially emptied water bottles
- 1 completely full water bottle
- iPod car charger, broken
- Cell phone car charger, broken
- Guns N Roses "Appetite for Destruction" cd, scratched beyond use
- Professional photography camera in blue Samsonite bag containing multiple pictures of San Francisco skylines, city streets, and dog parks. Owner contacted.
- 9 cardboard club/party/beer pong flyers previously placed on windshield/under wipers/in door crack
- 2 "Dory" name tags from Mount Hermon, homemade from construction paper and laminated
- 2 empty tubes of Burt's Bees chapstick
- 1 half-full tube of Burt's Bees chapstick
- 1 completely full pot of Burt's Bees chapstick
- 4 empty Orbit gum packages
- 2 full Orbit Wintergreen gum packages
- 1 half-full Orbit Bubble Mint gum package (SCORE!)
- 1 previously-chewed gingersnap, crusted to floor in backseat courtesy of Rudolph Magid (Bluetick Coonhound [dog])

Headed Home

Wow, what a satisfying day. I got a lot achieved and now I'm going to go eat some Whole Foods with the love of my life, Ms. Meagen Clendenen. After that I start the long (pretty f-ing short, actually) trek home for the weekend. Yes, the weekend. I only have class Monday through Wednesday. Jealous? You should be. And by you I am, of course, referring to my five, count 'em, FIVE faithful readers. The day I hit ten readers I may just implode with happiness.

Poor AnnE

An e-mail conversation I had today with AnnE...Poor girl got a lot more than she bargained for bringing up a kind of touchy subject:



-----Original Message-----
From: aekeller10@gmail.com
To: vanessa2you@aol.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 12:07 PM
Subject: I need a personal favor


I dont know why im bothering to do this now, but what are the chances/ who should I talk to to get me a job as an assistant for at month at the BIG MH??? Im thinking you have a pretty good in down there. I will be like a throw back to Jr High...


-----Original Message-----
From: vanessa2you@aol.com
To: aekeller10@gmail.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 4:04 PM
Subject: Re: Re: I need a personal favor

Trinity?



-----Original Message-----
From: aekeller10@gmail.com
To: vanessa2you@aol.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 4:04 PM
Subject: Re: I need a personal favor


I like the way you think? Is she still in charge there?
Are you working there this summer?




-----Original Message-----
From: vanessa2you@aol.com
To: aekeller10@gmail.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 4:04 PM
Subject: Re: Re: I need a personal favor

Those are all good questions. Pay attention as I attempt to answer them.

Trinity is technically still in charge, although this will be her last summer. She is actually sharing the job with her mom, but she would still probably be the one to go to if you want to work. Mr. Krabs is the director, so he'll be the one actually calling you, but I can talk to him too if you want. However, I'm pretty sure the numbers are really really low this summer and they might not even need assistants, so bear that in mind.

Am I working there? Fuck. I wish. I'm actually kind of freaking out about the whole summer thing. I don't have a job lined up and I'm done here in two weeks. I also am really really sad that I'm not doing summer staff because all my friends will be there except me. My fear of missing out is officially activated, especially since I'm in love with ________(name removed to protect the innocent object of my obsession). HOWEVER, I really don't want to do the actual work of SS - no money, no free time, too much drama, etc. Basically I'm freaking out. If worse comes to worse and I don't have a job when SS starts I'll probably end up assisting down there but I really really really don't want to. I'll still be around a lot to hang out and show up and do random circle times, but that's about it. Wow this was very cathartic. Sorry to dump it all on you. Can't wait for G-Shirl's 75th!

PS: You're an assclown and I hope you die, blah blah blah etc.

Faithful Readers

I am up to three, count 'em, THREE faithful readers. This is the best thing to ever happen to me, besides Jesus, Brother Ali, etc. In other news, I've decided to start lying in my blogs. From here on out, my stories may or may not have actually happened to me. It'll be like a fun game for you, my faithful readers, to play everyday. Try to figure out if this blog is a lie too. Might I be lying about lying? See, it's getting fun already!

I Fell Down Some Stairs: A Blog in Photos

I was drunk, it was my birthday party, we got in a cake fight, I had frosting on my shoes, and I was trying to run (walk briskly; let's be honest) from the police. This is the unfortunate consequence:

Day 2:



Day 7:



Day 16:

Helpful Hint of the Day

If you are feeling dried out and want to put on some chapstick and lotion, make sure you put on the chapstick first. Otherwise, you probably won't be able to pull the lid off of the chapstick once you have lotion all over your hands. It can get ugly.

Self-Esteem

I know it shouldn't matter, but every time I see myself in someone's Top Whatever on Myspace I feel really good about myself, especially if I'm number one.

Driving to Mount Hermon

I am writing this from Smurf's computer while she takes a shower. I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with her shift key, so please excuse any missed capitalizations. On my way over here (total drive time: 6 minutes) I was having a conversation in my head - don't act like you don't do it too. In this conversation, I was being my usual hilarious and loquacious self and I made a funny joke to the boy I like. The joke in my head was so funny that I laughed out loud, then proceeded to run a red light because I was laughing so hard that I wasn't paying attention to my driving. I am basically so into myself that I cannot be bothered to submit to basic traffic safety laws. This is an all-time low.

Livin' The Dream

Coming home last night was the best thing I could have possibly done. Instead of wasting another day sitting around my room with all my friends out of town (all meaning that the three people I hang out with just happened to leave this weekend), I laid at the beach. It was probably 80 degrees and there was a nice little breeze. Is it lame that I go to the beach alone? I used to think that other people would think I had no friends, which is sort of true; I have no friends that aren't working. Double negative. Gross. This is going nowhere, I'm cutting myself off now.

So I'm Starting This Blog...

I was basically inspired by Smurf to move away from myspace and find a spot where I can talk about myself all the time without having to interact with other people. I don't really know what the point of this is, except that I blog in my head all day long and maybe it will be good for me to actually write these things down. I hope it doesn't turn out to be really emo and disgusting or else I'll be forced to delete it. I also hope someone actually reads it, because if there's no one feeding my ego, then what's the point? I guess I'll go post all my old myspace blogs on here now, but before that, one of the funniest things I have ever seen:

Longest Survey Compilation Ever

Read at your own risk, it's a good way to kill a few minutes.

Here's my top fives, stolen from your friend and mine, Ms. Cassady Clark:

Favorite Movies:
1. Drop Dead Gorgeous
2. Little Miss Sunshine
3. The Departed
4. Forrest Gump
5. Beauty and the Beast/Shrek (tie)


Favorite Musicals:
1. I
2. HATE
3. FREAKING
4. MUSICALS
5. Scrubs: The Musical

Favorite TV Shows:
1. The Office
2. White Rapper Show
3. Scrubs
4. SNL
5. Engaged & Underage

Biggest Guilty Pleasures:
1. 'NSync
2. Hanson
3. Breakfast meats
4. My Super Sweet Sixteen
5. $hamrock

Favorite Songs to Sing Along To:
1. Because of You - Kelly Clarkson
2. Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid
3. Sunday Morning - Maroon 5
4. Will You Be There (Free Willy Song) - Michael Jackdon
5. Gone - Ben Folds

Favorite Bands:
1. Bloc Party
2. 'NSync
3. Hanson
4. Snow Patrol
5. Belle & Sebastian? I don't listen to a lot of bands...

Favorite Singers:
1. Justin Timberlake
2. Sufjan Stevens
3. Kanye West
4. Kelly Clarkson
5. Mariah Carey

Favorite Songs:
1. My Love - Justin Timberlake
2. Helicopter - Bloc Party
3. Casimir Pulaski Day - Sufjan Stevens
4. Zak & Sara - Ben Folds
5. Pedigree/Forest Whitaker/Blah Blah Blah – Brother Ali

Favorite Foods:
1. Ketchup
2. Cheeseburgers
3. Pastries
4. Hash browns
5. Asparagus

Board Games:
1. Monopoly
2. Life
3. Uno (I'm including card games)
4. Pictionary
5. 500 Rummy

Favorite Authors:
1. David Sedaris
2. JK Rowling
3. Sophie Kinsella
4. Wally Lamb
5. John Irving

Favorite Books:
1. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
2. Naked
3. Middlesex
4. Catch-22
5. The World According to Garp

Dream Jobs:
1. Nurse on Scrubs
2. Dunder Mifflin Assistant to the Regional Manager
3. Baby Monkey Wrangler at the zoo
4. Puppy Snuggler
5. Matt Damon's housewife

Living People You Want To Meet:
1. Matt Damon
2. Jon Stewart - I feel like we would get along really well
3. Paul Dano
4. David & Amy Sedaris (package deal)
5. The Dudes (They count as one person - I agree, Cassady)

Dead People You Want To Meet:
1. Steve Irwin
2. Stonewall ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Jackson
3. James K. Polk
4. Saddam Hussein
5. My old guinea pigs, Winnie and Hopper

Ficitonal Charactes You Want To Meet (by far the hardest category):
1. Remus Lupin
2. Jim Halpert
3. Colin Sullivan
4. Albus Dumbledore
5. Dwayne from Little Miss Sunshine

..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Stolen from Ducky:

Go to your page and list the last fifteen people who have commented you. If someone has commented twice, skip to the next new commentor.

1. Meagen
2. AnnE
3. Cassady
4. Ducky
5. Squirt
6. Smurf
7. Madeline
8. Gen
9. Nate
10. Dom
11. Libby
12. Hayley
13. Laura
14. Tessina
15. Trinity

Have you ever kissed 4?
Probably on the forehead or the cheek or something….my love language is touch!

Whats the fondest memory you have of 10:
Ha, when we were like 4 or 5 and we played house on my kitchen floor with the rugs. So dirty, but so fun.

Why are you friends with 9?
We share a mutual love of Brother Ali, Ninja Turtles, and being loud in public. Also, we worked at Mount Hermon, but we weren't actually friends then…weird.

When's the next time you're gonna see 6?
HOPEFULLY sometime this weekend, but probably not actually until Wednesday night/Thursday.

Tell something juicy about number 15:
She won't give me back my damn green sweater.

What do you like about 8?
What DON'T I like about number 8? She's the best ever.

Is number 5 attractive?
She is a stone-cold fox. I'm totally gay for her.

What was your first impression of 7?
She looks like she belongs at Day Camp! (sorry Madeline, just being honest here…)

Physically, what stands out with 1?
She's blonde? She's got great boobs too…Greasy hair?

What was 12's comment about?
Well it's kind of a long story…She wanted to know how life was since she left our room, I told her I thought she stole my deodorant, she claimed Meagen probably took it, then we agreed that that situation was highly unlikely since Meagen doesn't wear deodorant.

When and how did you meet 3?
In seventh grade she decided she hated all her friends from elementary school and started hanging out with my elementary friends, then we realized that we were made to be best pals.

Do you think 13 could kill someone?
Oh Lord yes. That girl is hardcore!


Is 11 your best friend?
No, but I like her very much. :o)

Have you seen 3 naked?
Well if you total together all of the times I've seen her partially dressed while changing it probably adds up to naked, but never really full-frontal, which is impressive because we've been friends for like 8 years.

Have you ever had a crush on 14?
She's a girl…so yes.

Would you ever kiss 6?
I would kiss her ALL THE TIME if she weren't so touch-phobic.


Do you think 2 has a crush on you?
No, she has a crush on her black friend, Nick.

Who do you spend the most time with?
Meagen or Smurfy when I'm home. Most online time spent with Squirt.



Stolen from Madeline:

Summer Questions:

1) Favorite Cook Out food?
cheeseburgers and pasta salad of course

2) Favorite summer drink?
lots of cold water, gotta stay hydrated yall!

3) What do you look forward to when summer comes?
NOT GOING TO SCHOOL, hanging out with smurfy for like a month before summer staff starts, going to see Brother Ali, Daft Punk, etc.

4) Do you join any sports?
is this a joke?

5) Do you wear a one-piece or two piece?
two, but it's very conservative

6) Would you rather it be winter?
only when it's like 110 degrees and I'm trying to have a freaking Dorypalooza and no one wants to hang out because it's too hot to even move…slash I love Christmas so yes?

7) How many times do you hit the beach?
at least weekly…AT LEAST.

8) How many BBQ's do you have?
well I personally have like 2 but the family all together probably has about 70 million.

9) What time do you go to bed in the summer?
never, summertime's not for sleep!

10) Do you go camping?
I used to but not so much. I kind of live where most people camp so…



Summer - This Or That:

1) Flip-Flops or shoes?
none of the above

2) Beach or Pool?
Secret Beach Where The Sun Is Always Shining

3) Bug-Bite or Sun burn?
bug bites, I don't want to look like a crusty old lady when I'm 30 THANKS.

4) Layout or fake bake?
naps on the beach?

5) Hit the clubs or BBQ'S?
wow those both sound horrible unless I'm hosting the BBQ

6) In a relationship or single?
ugh I think if you know me at all you know the answer to that one…

7) Hang with friends or Family?
All of them together at my house eating cheeseburgers and pasta salad and holding the chickens


Last Summer - 2006:

1) How old were you June 2006?
19

2) Did you go to Geauga Lake/Cedar Point?
sorry?

3) What Vacations did you go on?
um well I didn't really go anywhere. I worked at the Herm and I went to lots of concerts.

4) Who did you hang with everyday?
my mommy and friends at le Herm.

5) What was the worst memory of last summer?
I don't know if Hispanic Weekend counts as summer but that pretty much suuuuuuucked…

6) How did you celebrate the Fourth of July?
made the Jew some cupcakes since it was her BIRTHDAY, went home and fell asleep circa 9:45…livin' the dream.


7) What was one thing you did EVERY week last summer?
sang the grey squirrel song…I guarantee I did that EVERY week, even in infants

9) Favorite summer 2006 clothing item?
my sunglasses which now reside at the bottom of lake san Antonio…RIP.

10) Favorite song?
SEXY BACK! FREE WILLY SONG! CRAZY! Basically just those.



This Summer - 2007:

1) Where will you be going on vacation?
somewhere tropical with the fam for dad's 50th bday, hollaaaa!

2) How will you celebrate the Fourth of July?
I will be DRUNK with the JEW who will be TWENTY ONE!

3) The best place to be this summer?
the Secret Beach Where The Sun Is Always Shining or probably Smurf's house, or probably the Keller's too.

4) What are you looking forward to?
being the childcare fairy with smurfy, spending a lot of time at the Keller's before AnnE peaces out for f-ing Chile, lying on the beach with the Jew, going on a field trip to Oregon to see Madeline/Brother Ali, Daft Punk in July, HARRY FREAKING POTTER. I think that about covers it :o)



Stolen from Scruggsy:

NO LYING QUIZ

1. last beverage? water

2. last phone call? Smurf

4. last cd played? Daft Punk


5. last time you cried? Wednesday, a lot.

6. last text message?Received: AnnE – "Eh dude I feel like such a scenester listening to death cab in my straight jeans." Sent: To Anne – "Did I already mention that I hate you?" CLASSIC.

HAVE YOU EVER:

1. dated someone?? ugh

2. been cheated on?? no

3. kissed someone & regretted it?? no?

4. lost someone special? ? Steve Irwin

5. been depressed?? of course, I'm 20.

6. been drunk and threw up? ? no actually, ask around. I'm the best drunk ever.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

1. purple

2. green

3. pink

THIS MONTH HAVE YOU

1. Made a new friend? I think so…

2. Fallen out of love ? ha, no.


3. Laughed until you cried ? weekly


4. Met someone who changed your life? maybe? Nothing's changed yet but maybe down the road? Who knows?


5. Found out who your true friends were ? I already knew that?


6. Is there something you want to tell someone?? yes, I want to tell you all that I have to poo.


7. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends?? basically all of them multiple times, $hamrock would be the most exciting though.

8. How many people on your top friends do you know in real life?? all but f-ing $hamrock.

9. How many kids do you want to have?? no less than 17 but no more than 22.


10. Do you have any pets?? 2 dogs, 2 cats, turtle, fish, chickens, horse


11. Do you wanna change your name?? I used to but not anymore.

12. What did you do for your last birthday?? imbibed, ate Ben & Jerry's, went to dinner with the fam, had a party the weekend before


13. What time did you wake up today?? 11:13, don't judge me.


14. What were you doing at 10:30 last night?? Sitting in the library talking to MacKenzie


15. Name something you CANNOT wait for? May 16th


16 Last time you saw your father?? um Sunday?

17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Be more relaxed and go with the flow a little bit more easily


18. What are you listening to? ? Brother Ali – "Truth Is"


19. have you ever talked to Tom?? Cassady's dad? Yes. Fun fact: he gave me the nickname V-Smack.



23. Who's getting on your nerves? ? I'd rather not say, I'm trying to be less bitchy and it's not fair to be mad at someone for irritating you when they don't even know they're doing it.


24. Most visited webpage?? facebook/myspace/aol ßme too Laura!

25. Coke or Pepsi?? coke really really cold


26. Have you seen anyone naked in the past week?? Meagen of course.

"Let's Talk On AIM Sometime..." Vol.II

I'm going to keep posting conversations I find hilarious. Tonight with AnnE:

Vanessa2you (12:45:06 AM): :-(
Vanessa2you (12:45:09 AM): emoticon
bestdbspaz(12:45:13 AM): boo
Vanessa2you (12:45:18 AM): I'm feeling so emotional I had to use an emoticon
bestdbspaz (12:45:32 AM): that make me pity you
Vanessa2you (12:46:00 AM): your grammar makes me pity you

"Let's Talk On AIM Sometime..."

This is what happens when Squirt tells me she's coming to visit...

Vanessa2you.(12:00:38 PM): yes!
Vanessa2you (12:00:39 PM): yes!
Vanessa2you(12:00:42 PM): oh my gosh yes!
squirtadero(12:00:10 PM): OH..... I AM COMING!!!!
Vanessa2you(12:00:49 PM): that's a little sexual
squirtadero(12:00:22 PM): No doubt about it... i don't know when
squirtadero(12:00:24 PM): ew...
Vanessa2you(12:01:01 PM): wow you just took it to the next level

Waiting to Air Dry

-Are you smiling?
Yes, AnnE just called me a "witch cunt" and used the wrong form of "which"

-When is the last time you met someone new?
Last night Kaci introduced me to some girl but I have no idea what her name is slash who she is.

-Truthfully, what is irritating you now?
How gross I am to look at.

-When did you last eat pizza?
Yesterday while I was babysitting

-What are you drinking?
Dasani water

-Do you have any friends who are famous?
Cassady's mom's boyfriend's son is dating Robin William's daughter....sigh...

-Do you like Monopoly?
I don't like it, I LOVE it.

-What do you want?
to be drunk and dance around with Meagen

-Are you tired?
No, hungry.

-Last spoken words you heard?
"I don't want to rush you or anything..." - some girl on my floor who wanted to use the shower stall I had just gotten out of because it's the best one there.

-Do you know anyone named John?
I know a few Johns, but even more Jons.

-Besides your bed, what is your favorite thing in your room?
It's a toss up between my bear and my roommate

-Pepsi... Coke.... Pepsi... Coke...?
Cold cold cold coke....float.

-Want to be a princess?
Not really, I have a really long explanation involving too many obligations, etc,
but I'm feeling pretty lazy right now.

-Do you believe dreams come true?
Dreams can come true; look at me babe, I'm with you

-Last song you heard?
"We Major" by Kanye West

-Who is in the room with you?
Simon.

-Who is the last person to text you?
Meagen

-Who's house did you go to last night?
The only actual house I went to yesterday was the family I babysit for, but I've been to many an apartment and dorm room of late.

-Who was the last person you told you love them?
Mom?

-What was the last thing you ate?
Bran muffin - a lot better than it sounds, trust me.

-What was the last thing you did?
told AnnE to close her man pleaser over AIM

-What is the closest item near you that is blue?
"Mosby's Pharmacology in Nursing" book, package containing defective bra that I have yet to mail back

-What are you wearing on your feet?
dirt, not really, just got out of the shower.

-What instant messaging service do you use?
AIM, whore.

-What is your favorite pair of shoes?
green and orange pumas - once again, much nicer than they sound

-What do you wear more, jeans or sweatpants?
I'm finding it's a very slippery slope down into sweatpants these days...

-What is the last movie you watched?
Technically I watched 300 but I didn't really pay attention/was drunk so I don't remember that much.

-What do you currently hear right now?
Justin Timberlake, vaccuum

-When did you last buy a new pair of pants?
When mommy was here; funny how that works...

-When did you last take a shower?
20 minutes ago, I'm air drying

-Where's your favorite place to be?
at home, in bed

-Where is your phone?
next to the computer ACTUALLY

-Where is your mom?
home

-Where do you sleep?
against a wall in my bed in my room

-Where do you shop the most?
Walgreens? Specify shop type.|

-Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
Ahaha, I'm not wearing a shirt, I'M AIR DRYING.

-Where was your default MySpace picture taken?
Some girl's apartment on Geary & 1st

-Why did you pick that color for your background?
it's pretty?

-Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
Because he wrapped his arms around my neck, tilted his head up, and puckered his lips...he being the 2-year-old I nannied for yesterday. This all occurred while I was pulling his pants up after changing his diaper. Magical.

-Are you happy with where you are?
Kind of, I had a bit of an emo breakdown the other night but thankfully Meagen was there to talk me out of it

-When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
What? No. I hate everyone.

-Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
I don't really understand it. I would just break up rather than cheat.

-Have you ever talked about marriage with someone before?
Every time I watch "Engaged and Underage" I talk about how retarded everyone is who gets married young.

-Do you want kids?
I guess

-How many?
17, 20 tops...

-Do you want someone you can't have?
No I don't want ANYONE. That's the problem.

-Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Do you believe in me kicking your ass right now?

-Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
only if you're married, dating doesn't count

-Do you believe that you can change someone?
Yes? Stupid question.

-Would you ever consider getting engaged or married right after school?
NO. NO NO NO NO NO. People who get engaged/married after school only do it for a few reasons: 1. Pregnancy, 2. Religious people who want to have sex, 3. Military personnel. NO.



Thanks Abu, this really helped me kill some time.

Surprise!

My underwear have been on inside-out all day. I just now noticed it.

Mike & Evander, You Will Be Missed

My fish died. I'm pretty sure they boiled, since I left them on the windowsill and it was really really hot and sunny in my room yesterday. I am a horrible fish mommy. I don't want to talk about it.



RIP Mike and Evander, you will be missed.



PS: Sorry I've been blogging so much lately; I've been reading a lot of David Sedaris.

That's Incredible!

This morning I had an absurd amount of laundry to do. It has been piling up for almost two weeks and today was The Day. I tossed in my first load of whites and started to get ready to go buy the new Justin Timberlake cd. Forty-five minutes later, I headed back to the laundry room to switch my clothes to the dryer from the washer. Imagine my horror when, while scraping the last wet sock from the washing machine, I saw just a hint of a pale white cord that could only belong to an iPod accessory lying benignly on the bottom of the washing machine.

TRAGEDY! SHOCK! SHORTNESS OF BREATH!

I yelled a few choice words and gingerly untangled what used to be my iPod earphones from the wet sock. Fearing the worst, I threw the sock to the ground and raced back to my charging iPod to see if, by some miracle, perhaps my earphones had survived their wet ride.

EXCITEMENT! GLEE! JOY OF JOYS!

They work! Not only are they functioning just as before, but now they are disturbingly white and clean as well. Really, this is probably the best thing to ever happen to my iPod earphones. They look like they just came off the shelf. Basically, this is one of the most amazing things to ever happen to me. I'm not reccommending putting all of your iPod accessories through the laundry, but if it happens to you, don't panic! Chances are it will turn out to be something really incredible.