"Your Pelvic Exam"
"Help On The Way - FLU"
"Big Tobacco - They're After You"
"Sinusitis"
"Getting What You Want From Drinking"
"Is It Safe? Is It Sex?"
"STD Facts"
"Herpes Vaccine And Trial"
....and the real clincher, a purple pamphlet that simply begins with "An
unplanned pregnancy isn't easy, but ADOPTION...."
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE!!!
Johnny Depp plays THE SAME CHARACTER IN EVERY MOVIE!
Sweeney Todd? Captain Jack? Edward Scissorhands? IT'S THE SAME PERSON.
He's more fake-British than Madonna, but NO ONE gives him any shit for it! HE'S FROM THE MIDWEST, FOR GOD'S SAKE! HE'S NOT A GOOD ACTOR! He knows how to play ONE character in a mediocre fashion and people keep buying into it! OPEN YOUR EYES! REBEL! STOP BUYING INTO THE HOLLYWOOD HYPE! JUST SAY NO TO JOHNNY DEPP!!!
Sweeney Todd? Captain Jack? Edward Scissorhands? IT'S THE SAME PERSON.
He's more fake-British than Madonna, but NO ONE gives him any shit for it! HE'S FROM THE MIDWEST, FOR GOD'S SAKE! HE'S NOT A GOOD ACTOR! He knows how to play ONE character in a mediocre fashion and people keep buying into it! OPEN YOUR EYES! REBEL! STOP BUYING INTO THE HOLLYWOOD HYPE! JUST SAY NO TO JOHNNY DEPP!!!
Monday, December 3, 2007
Monday Night Football Haiku
Monday Night Football!
Ravens versus Patriots!
Let's end the New England streak!
Fourth and one to go.
Yay Baltimore! You held them!
Who called that time out?
Sack, sack, Tom Brady!
Ravens defense doing work.
There goes your record!
Fifty-two yard pass!
Oh shit, what a Hail Mary.
Three yards too short, pal.
How did that happen?
New England really won that?
Suck it Tom Brady.
Ravens versus Patriots!
Let's end the New England streak!
Fourth and one to go.
Yay Baltimore! You held them!
Who called that time out?
Sack, sack, Tom Brady!
Ravens defense doing work.
There goes your record!
Fifty-two yard pass!
Oh shit, what a Hail Mary.
Three yards too short, pal.
How did that happen?
New England really won that?
Suck it Tom Brady.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Shiiiiiiit....
I have a terrible feeling that I just sent an e-mail to everyone in my class instead of just the professor....
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Slasher
November is almost over. I have blogged once.
This is appalling.
How did I get so "busy"? Because really, I'm not that busy. Just LAZY. But honestly, does that surprise anyone?
I titled this blog "Slasher" and not "Slacker" because it's not about me being a slacker (really), it's about the surgery I'm getting on December 18th. I'm getting my throat slashed open and a parathyroid gland (or two, we're not sure yet) removed. When I say "throat slashed" I, of course, mean a tiny nick approximately the width of a penny will be made in the front of my neck. The incision is so small that I am actually embarrassed to be staying in the hospital. I decided to write about this via blog because whenever I mention that I'm getting surgery to someone over the phone or in person I get a horrified and semi-apologetic reaction, to the tune of "Oh I'm so sorry!" Don't be so sorry, it's really not a big deal at all. Now I can add one more part of my body to the list of organs I've had removed (two so far) and I get another cool scar to add to my ever-growing collection.
PS: Here's a visual for your enjoyment. The one that I'm getting removed is on the bottom, your left, my right.
This is appalling.
How did I get so "busy"? Because really, I'm not that busy. Just LAZY. But honestly, does that surprise anyone?
I titled this blog "Slasher" and not "Slacker" because it's not about me being a slacker (really), it's about the surgery I'm getting on December 18th. I'm getting my throat slashed open and a parathyroid gland (or two, we're not sure yet) removed. When I say "throat slashed" I, of course, mean a tiny nick approximately the width of a penny will be made in the front of my neck. The incision is so small that I am actually embarrassed to be staying in the hospital. I decided to write about this via blog because whenever I mention that I'm getting surgery to someone over the phone or in person I get a horrified and semi-apologetic reaction, to the tune of "Oh I'm so sorry!" Don't be so sorry, it's really not a big deal at all. Now I can add one more part of my body to the list of organs I've had removed (two so far) and I get another cool scar to add to my ever-growing collection.
PS: Here's a visual for your enjoyment. The one that I'm getting removed is on the bottom, your left, my right.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Douche Head
It has been like three weeks since my last blog and that is just unacceptable. Sorry for holding out on you readers, I've just been really busy doing nothing. I will kick off the holiday blog season with a little story about my number one German Shepherd friend and love of my life, Vinnie.
Many of you who already know Vinnie are aware of his deficit in, for lack of a better term, smarts. The product of a show dog and a police K-9, Vinnie can sit and stay wit the best of them but is the unfortunate victim of his own foolish antics. This is the dog who will chase a beam of light into a tree trunk. He has been known to eat yellow jackets, chase (and catch) his own tail, and go to great lengths to avoid walking near the living room heater. It's no surprise, then, that Vinnie is sufferent from a severe knowledge deficit when it comes to appropriate behavior around skunks. Most dogs would investigate a skunk, get sprayed, and avoid the animals if they ever were to come in contact with them again. Not our Vinnie. He just doesn't seem to understand that the black and white kitties don't want to play. Everytime he sees a skunk, without fail, he will not hesitate to run up to it and bark in its face until he is inevitably sprayed. This has caused quite a problem for my mother, who is constantly having to look up new remedies to rid the dog of skunk stink.
After Vinnie's most recent skunking, my mom (being the intrepid hipster that she is) Googled "dog skunk stink wash." She eventually came upon a webforum where a woman in a similar situation had posted an open letter asking for de-skunking advice. A helpful lady hailing from Michigan replied by saying that her vet had recommended using a vinegar-salt-water solution. This solution killed off the stink without fail every time. The only problem? How to use the solution around the sensitive eye area of the dogs. The fix? Douches. There are many salt-vinegar-water douches on the market that are made specifically to extricate vaginal stink but gentle enough not to harm the sensitive genital tissues. To wrap it all up, my mom bought a 3-pack of douches from Rite Aid, covered Vinnie's ample head in them, and was amazed by the results. It really did get rid of every trace of skunk on the dog. So next time you come over and pet Vinnie on the head, you can thank Rite Aid douches for keeping your hand from smelling like skunk.
Many of you who already know Vinnie are aware of his deficit in, for lack of a better term, smarts. The product of a show dog and a police K-9, Vinnie can sit and stay wit the best of them but is the unfortunate victim of his own foolish antics. This is the dog who will chase a beam of light into a tree trunk. He has been known to eat yellow jackets, chase (and catch) his own tail, and go to great lengths to avoid walking near the living room heater. It's no surprise, then, that Vinnie is sufferent from a severe knowledge deficit when it comes to appropriate behavior around skunks. Most dogs would investigate a skunk, get sprayed, and avoid the animals if they ever were to come in contact with them again. Not our Vinnie. He just doesn't seem to understand that the black and white kitties don't want to play. Everytime he sees a skunk, without fail, he will not hesitate to run up to it and bark in its face until he is inevitably sprayed. This has caused quite a problem for my mother, who is constantly having to look up new remedies to rid the dog of skunk stink.
After Vinnie's most recent skunking, my mom (being the intrepid hipster that she is) Googled "dog skunk stink wash." She eventually came upon a webforum where a woman in a similar situation had posted an open letter asking for de-skunking advice. A helpful lady hailing from Michigan replied by saying that her vet had recommended using a vinegar-salt-water solution. This solution killed off the stink without fail every time. The only problem? How to use the solution around the sensitive eye area of the dogs. The fix? Douches. There are many salt-vinegar-water douches on the market that are made specifically to extricate vaginal stink but gentle enough not to harm the sensitive genital tissues. To wrap it all up, my mom bought a 3-pack of douches from Rite Aid, covered Vinnie's ample head in them, and was amazed by the results. It really did get rid of every trace of skunk on the dog. So next time you come over and pet Vinnie on the head, you can thank Rite Aid douches for keeping your hand from smelling like skunk.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Partaaaaaay yeah!
I just got home from a partyt!!! It was okay, not very fun but still okay. I wore my halloween costume - it made its debut! Now I cam freaking cobvred in glitter head to toe but that's okay, I cna deal with it tomorrow. I am also a ltitle bit drunk still, but I felt compelled fo blog! None of my roommates avtually made it too the party. Maddie piked on the strairs, Josh puked in the bowl, and Dani had tocome home to take care of the pukers. Then I got a little to drunk and itw asn't fun anymore so I came hjome too. We are supposed to have another party at our hjosue tomorrow night but who knowws if it will happen because everyon'e going to be hung over but me! I feel fab, like a spring chicken in the springtime. Blogger keeps telling me that I'm spelling okay wrong and that's drving me up the wall, so I think I'll go to bed \now.
Faithful readers, jsut keep in mind who's thinking of you at midnght on a Fridayu when she's home from a party earli and still a little bit \tipsed.
Kisses,
Vanessa
PS I am naked to write this...WHY?
Faithful readers, jsut keep in mind who's thinking of you at midnght on a Fridayu when she's home from a party earli and still a little bit \tipsed.
Kisses,
Vanessa
PS I am naked to write this...WHY?
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Mary Katherine Gallagher in the Med Room
Let me begin this post by explaining the intricacies of working in a hospital environment. On each floor there is a med room that usually houses only a giant Pyxis machine that dispenses medications, a shelf full of syringes and shit, a counter with a sink, and some garbage cans. There's another room on the floor that has all the clean linens and another Pyxis with patient supplies, like bedpans and IV tubes and stuff, called the clean utility room. On the fourth floor of the hospital where I work, I guess space is at a premium because these two rooms are combined into one. The worst part is that this one room is roughly the size of a large closet and set up in a very cramped manner. That being said, here is an educational diagram of the fourth floor med room, including colored dots depicting my placement in the room when the shit hit the fan:
Now that you understand the set up, let's delve right into the story. I was on the phone with the pharmacy trying to sound badass and convince them to send my patient their medications while my professor waited to log me into the Pyxis. The physical therapist walked in as I was hanging up the phone to introduce her new physical therapy assistant to us and to orient him to the med room. This assistant turned out to be sensationally hot, and the following is a true-to-life account of my actual reaction to his presence in the med room:
Physical Therapist: "So this is where you can get all your supplies....(rounding the corner and seeing me and my professor) Oh hey guys! This is Hot Guy, my new assistant."
Professor: "Hi Hot Guy, nice to meet you."
Me: (attempting to hang up the phone and dropping it into the garbage can) "Oh! Um. Hi! (pulling phone out of garbage and wiping it off) Nice to meet you! I dropped the phone in the garbage! (hanging up phone on receiver and bouncing hip off garbage can in process) Ha! Ha."
Hot Guy: "Ha. (clearly feeling awkward, notices my Steelers badge holder thingy and attempts a subject change) Are you a Steelers fan?"
Me: (dropping binder with patient's med list) "Ha! Okay. (bending over to pick up binder while simultaneously showing off majority of asscrack) What?"
HG: (judging) "Are. You. A. Steelers. Fan."
Me: (straightening up to walk over to the Pyxis with the binder) "Oh! Yes! (shouting unnecessarily) BIG TIME!"
HG: (attempting to walk out the door with other Physical Therapist) "Cool. Well, nice meeting you..."
Me: (knocking over a different binder with a little paper cup of pills on top of it off of the Pyxis) "Did you see? The game on Sunday? Ha. Ha."
HG: (still trying to leave) "No, I missed it."
Me: (bending over and exposing asscrack while attempting to find tossed pills and shouting unnecessarily again) "IT SUCKED! Ha. They lost. To the Broncos."
HG: (finally out the door) "Oh..." (lets the door close)
Me: (talking to no one at this point) "In the last minutes! Broncos had a field goal. Number one worst rated defense in the NFL and they beat us. (mumbling) Rough game." (turning to look at Professor)
Professor: (leaning against counter and laughing with silent judgment) "Okay. Let's get your meds together...."
Now that you understand the set up, let's delve right into the story. I was on the phone with the pharmacy trying to sound badass and convince them to send my patient their medications while my professor waited to log me into the Pyxis. The physical therapist walked in as I was hanging up the phone to introduce her new physical therapy assistant to us and to orient him to the med room. This assistant turned out to be sensationally hot, and the following is a true-to-life account of my actual reaction to his presence in the med room:
Physical Therapist: "So this is where you can get all your supplies....(rounding the corner and seeing me and my professor) Oh hey guys! This is Hot Guy, my new assistant."
Professor: "Hi Hot Guy, nice to meet you."
Me: (attempting to hang up the phone and dropping it into the garbage can) "Oh! Um. Hi! (pulling phone out of garbage and wiping it off) Nice to meet you! I dropped the phone in the garbage! (hanging up phone on receiver and bouncing hip off garbage can in process) Ha! Ha."
Hot Guy: "Ha. (clearly feeling awkward, notices my Steelers badge holder thingy and attempts a subject change) Are you a Steelers fan?"
Me: (dropping binder with patient's med list) "Ha! Okay. (bending over to pick up binder while simultaneously showing off majority of asscrack) What?"
HG: (judging) "Are. You. A. Steelers. Fan."
Me: (straightening up to walk over to the Pyxis with the binder) "Oh! Yes! (shouting unnecessarily) BIG TIME!"
HG: (attempting to walk out the door with other Physical Therapist) "Cool. Well, nice meeting you..."
Me: (knocking over a different binder with a little paper cup of pills on top of it off of the Pyxis) "Did you see? The game on Sunday? Ha. Ha."
HG: (still trying to leave) "No, I missed it."
Me: (bending over and exposing asscrack while attempting to find tossed pills and shouting unnecessarily again) "IT SUCKED! Ha. They lost. To the Broncos."
HG: (finally out the door) "Oh..." (lets the door close)
Me: (talking to no one at this point) "In the last minutes! Broncos had a field goal. Number one worst rated defense in the NFL and they beat us. (mumbling) Rough game." (turning to look at Professor)
Professor: (leaning against counter and laughing with silent judgment) "Okay. Let's get your meds together...."
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Important Question Revisited
Smurf, this is mostly for you:
If you don't know who T-Pain is, stick your index finger into your mouth, pull your cheek away from your gums and say "Gon' buy you a draaaaaank" in a slightly high-pitched voice. I guarantee you'll figure out who he is REAL quick.
If you don't know who T-Pain is, stick your index finger into your mouth, pull your cheek away from your gums and say "Gon' buy you a draaaaaank" in a slightly high-pitched voice. I guarantee you'll figure out who he is REAL quick.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
I Have An Important Question!
I have already broached this subject with the people sitting at my table at Marci's wedding today, but their answers were rather unsatisfactory, so I'm leaving it up to you, my faithful readers, to help me get to the bottom of this:
Do you think T-Pain brings his own synthesizer to the studio when he collaborates with other artists?
Do you think T-Pain brings his own synthesizer to the studio when he collaborates with other artists?
Monday, October 8, 2007
Friday, October 5, 2007
Also...
Snaps to Jonathan for the hook up.
Which Office Character Are You? | |
 | You are part Michael. Deep down, you are caring and good-natured, but you often express yourself in insensitive ways. Though you always try your hardest to make your talents be seen, you could use a little more self-awareness to avoid being awkward. |
 | You are part Jim. You are personable, easy-going, and always socially aware. Your great sense of humor and impishness soften the blow of what might otherwise be a dark, cutting cynicism. |
| Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com | |
Nordstrom Rack
Today I stumbled upon a Nordstrom Rack in the ghetto that is Colma, California. For those of you not in-the-know, Nordstrom Rack is basically the Nordstrom super outlet. I walked in with some hesitation, as all I really wanted was a pair of the Nordstrom jeans that I so adored. As soon as I arrived I realized that I had entered a bargain shopper's mecca. Apparently The Rack, as I've come to know it, receives new shipments each Friday morning, so my timing was impeccable. I wandered over to a rack of knitwear and almost peed a little in my pants when I started to look at the price tags. Forty percent off! Sixty percent off! NINETY-FIVE PERCENT OFF!!!! I was overwhelmed by the hunger for fashion that took over my body and went into a shopping craze. Two hours later, after bypassing a ninety-nine dollar pair of Ugg boots (normally two hundred), a forty dollar perfume box set (normally seventy five) and fourteen different tops that I determined I could live without, I emerged from the store with two sweaters that normally cost about a hundred dollars each (not exaggerating) and a normally sixty dollar pair of CUTE shoes for the low low total price of just $67.55. Inside that Nordstrom Rack I was forced to make some of the toughest decisions I have ever encountered (I'm still debating about those boots - how often do you find real Uggs in a women's size 11?!) but all in all it was an amazing experience that I look forward to enjoying again on a random Friday morning in the near future.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Monday, October 1, 2007
Another F-ing AIM Blog
[16:32] Vanessa2you: you have to be way more obvious than just giving him your old phone
[16:32] Vanessa2you: you have to make vague plans and then tell him to call you to solidify them
[16:32] Vanessa2you: then he'll be like "wait I don't think you have your number"
[16:32] Vanessa2you: then give it to him
[16:32] Vanessa2you: duh
[16:32] gfunkyg15: you're better at this than I am
[16:33] Vanessa2you: how do you think I score all my men?
[16:33] Vanessa2you: I watch a lot of TV
[16:33] gfunkyg15: hahaha
[16:33] gfunkyg15: I just want to know for sure that he likes me so I can take the next step
[16:33] gfunkyg15: the next step being do him
[16:34] Vanessa2you: oh goodness
[16:34] Vanessa2you: that sounds like a fun step
[16:34] gfunkyg15: its a big one, but I am willing to take itr
[16:34] Vanessa2you: I need to pray to Jesus
[16:34] Vanessa2you: for a man
[16:34] Vanessa2you: to come and put his peepee in me
[16:34] gfunkyg15: i will pray to jesus for a man for you
[16:34] Vanessa2you: thank you
[16:34] gfunkyg15: none of that good vibe shit
[16:34] Vanessa2you: but he probably won't listen because you're a Harry Potter-loving Jew
[16:35] gfunkyg15: good old fashioned praying
[16:35] gfunkyg15: maybe I should change my religion back... [check out Gen's Facebook for her current religious preferences and some back story on the joke.]
[16:35] gfunkyg15: nah, jesus knows a joke when he sees one
[16:35] Vanessa2you: prostrate yourself in the direction of UCSF and pray for hottie surgical intern to do me
[16:35] Vanessa2you: dude you KNOW Jesus loves a good joke
[16:35] gfunkyg15: will do
[16:35] Vanessa2you: I mean, what a cool guy
[16:35] Vanessa2you: he GETS it
[16:35] gfunkyg15: we're like this
[16:36] gfunkyg15: (i just crossed my fingers)
[16:36] Vanessa2you: oh of course
[16:32] Vanessa2you: you have to make vague plans and then tell him to call you to solidify them
[16:32] Vanessa2you: then he'll be like "wait I don't think you have your number"
[16:32] Vanessa2you: then give it to him
[16:32] Vanessa2you: duh
[16:32] gfunkyg15: you're better at this than I am
[16:33] Vanessa2you: how do you think I score all my men?
[16:33] Vanessa2you: I watch a lot of TV
[16:33] gfunkyg15: hahaha
[16:33] gfunkyg15: I just want to know for sure that he likes me so I can take the next step
[16:33] gfunkyg15: the next step being do him
[16:34] Vanessa2you: oh goodness
[16:34] Vanessa2you: that sounds like a fun step
[16:34] gfunkyg15: its a big one, but I am willing to take itr
[16:34] Vanessa2you: I need to pray to Jesus
[16:34] Vanessa2you: for a man
[16:34] Vanessa2you: to come and put his peepee in me
[16:34] gfunkyg15: i will pray to jesus for a man for you
[16:34] Vanessa2you: thank you
[16:34] gfunkyg15: none of that good vibe shit
[16:34] Vanessa2you: but he probably won't listen because you're a Harry Potter-loving Jew
[16:35] gfunkyg15: good old fashioned praying
[16:35] gfunkyg15: maybe I should change my religion back... [check out Gen's Facebook for her current religious preferences and some back story on the joke.]
[16:35] gfunkyg15: nah, jesus knows a joke when he sees one
[16:35] Vanessa2you: prostrate yourself in the direction of UCSF and pray for hottie surgical intern to do me
[16:35] Vanessa2you: dude you KNOW Jesus loves a good joke
[16:35] gfunkyg15: will do
[16:35] Vanessa2you: I mean, what a cool guy
[16:35] Vanessa2you: he GETS it
[16:35] gfunkyg15: we're like this
[16:36] gfunkyg15: (i just crossed my fingers)
[16:36] Vanessa2you: oh of course
My Humps
Every time I drive up the street to my house, I see this:
And instead of this:
All I can think about is this:
(In very fast motion, of course.)
In other news, Britney's kids got taken away, Seth Rogen is sexy as hell, etc. etc.
And instead of this:
All I can think about is this:
(In very fast motion, of course.)
In other news, Britney's kids got taken away, Seth Rogen is sexy as hell, etc. etc.
Monday, September 24, 2007
If It's Good Enough For _-C_N_, Then It's Good Enough For Me
The soundtrack of my life
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
***************************
OPENING CREDITS:
She's Hearing Voices - Bloc Party
WAKING UP
Disco Club - Black Eyed Peas
1st DAY OF SCHOOL
Jogi - Punjabi MC
FALLING IN LOVE
The New Year - Death Cab for Cutie (it's embarrassing that I even have this)
FIGHT SONG
Forrest Whitaker - Brother Ali (YES!)
BREAKUP SONG
Luxurious - Gwen Stefani
PROM
The Godfather - Harry and the Potters
LIFE'S OK
On - Bloc Party (I guess cocaine really does make life okay....)
Mental Breakdown
Never Let Me Down - Kanye West ft. Jay-Z
DRIVING
Holidae In - Chingy
FLASHBACK
Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffett
BACK TOGETHER
Lucy - Hanson
WEDDING
Everything I Am - Kanye West
BIRTH OF A CHILD
What A Fool Believes - Doobie Brothers
FINAL BATTLE
She's Losing It - Belle & Sebastian
DEATH SCENE
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
FUNERAL
All The Trees of the Fields Will Clap Their Hands - Sufjan Stevens (disturbingly appropriate)
END CREDITS
Everytime - Britney Spears
Wow, what an amazing note to end on. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
***************************
OPENING CREDITS:
She's Hearing Voices - Bloc Party
WAKING UP
Disco Club - Black Eyed Peas
1st DAY OF SCHOOL
Jogi - Punjabi MC
FALLING IN LOVE
The New Year - Death Cab for Cutie (it's embarrassing that I even have this)
FIGHT SONG
Forrest Whitaker - Brother Ali (YES!)
BREAKUP SONG
Luxurious - Gwen Stefani
PROM
The Godfather - Harry and the Potters
LIFE'S OK
On - Bloc Party (I guess cocaine really does make life okay....)
Mental Breakdown
Never Let Me Down - Kanye West ft. Jay-Z
DRIVING
Holidae In - Chingy
FLASHBACK
Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffett
BACK TOGETHER
Lucy - Hanson
WEDDING
Everything I Am - Kanye West
BIRTH OF A CHILD
What A Fool Believes - Doobie Brothers
FINAL BATTLE
She's Losing It - Belle & Sebastian
DEATH SCENE
Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
FUNERAL
All The Trees of the Fields Will Clap Their Hands - Sufjan Stevens (disturbingly appropriate)
END CREDITS
Everytime - Britney Spears
Wow, what an amazing note to end on. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
FutureSex/DanceMoves
Hello friends. Sorry it's been so long since I've written a good blog; I know some of you (Gen) thrive on these things. I really haven't had anything important to write about until I saw something very special on TV last night: Justin Timberlake.
Not just any show with Justin Timberlake though, the two-hour-plus Justin Timberlake FutureSex/LoveShow live concert on HBO. Of course, since it was originally taped on Labor Day, it was not live for me. Regardless, it packed quite a punch. If you know me at all you are well aware of my undying affection for Mr. Timberlake, dating back to the sixth grade when Genevieve and AnnE decided they didn't like Backstreet Boys and made me pick a side in the boy band turf war. Luckily I chose the right side and have been a JT lover ever since. His HBO special, while very similar to the many other live shows taped at Madison Square Garden done during his 'NSync days (all of which I have on VHS, thank you very much), filled me with the kind of joy and giddiness best attributed to uncontrolled hormones and a desperate need for male attention. While Thom, Kaci, and I collectively drooled over his impossible hotness ("Look at how blue his eyes are!" "His hands are so MANLY!" "If that shirt were tighter and he were colder you could TOTALLY see his nipples!") I was thrilled to see Justin implement my favorite dance move of all time: The Jagoff! I am including a clip of him doing "SexyBack" during the show. Keep a close eye on his hand motions at approximately 05:20 left in the video and you'll see The Jagoff in all its Timber-loving glory. Also, if you care to continue watching (and why wouldn't you?), between 04:06 and 03:55 you'll notice two more of my favorite drunken dance moves, The Ass-Slap and The Crazy Arm Helicopter. While I usually only rock these moves with a blood alcohol level well above the legal limit and accompany the Arm Helicopter with a loud "WOOOOOOOOO!", it's clear that JT is so drunk on performing that he cannot help but bust them out during the almost-finale of his show. So here it is, the clip of the most heartwarming and beautiful Timber-moves I've ever seen. Enjoy.
Also, for you super fans out there, here's a little chunk featuring "Cry Me A River" that I really just can't get enough of. The show is On Demand for people who get HBO all month, so I suggest you find a friend with On Demand HBO and get on it!
....Aaaaaand last but not least, here's the shit-tacular video for "What Goes Around/Comes Around." Look out for JT telling ScoJo "I FUCKING KNOW YOU." The acting rivals his performance in Alpha Dog.
Not just any show with Justin Timberlake though, the two-hour-plus Justin Timberlake FutureSex/LoveShow live concert on HBO. Of course, since it was originally taped on Labor Day, it was not live for me. Regardless, it packed quite a punch. If you know me at all you are well aware of my undying affection for Mr. Timberlake, dating back to the sixth grade when Genevieve and AnnE decided they didn't like Backstreet Boys and made me pick a side in the boy band turf war. Luckily I chose the right side and have been a JT lover ever since. His HBO special, while very similar to the many other live shows taped at Madison Square Garden done during his 'NSync days (all of which I have on VHS, thank you very much), filled me with the kind of joy and giddiness best attributed to uncontrolled hormones and a desperate need for male attention. While Thom, Kaci, and I collectively drooled over his impossible hotness ("Look at how blue his eyes are!" "His hands are so MANLY!" "If that shirt were tighter and he were colder you could TOTALLY see his nipples!") I was thrilled to see Justin implement my favorite dance move of all time: The Jagoff! I am including a clip of him doing "SexyBack" during the show. Keep a close eye on his hand motions at approximately 05:20 left in the video and you'll see The Jagoff in all its Timber-loving glory. Also, if you care to continue watching (and why wouldn't you?), between 04:06 and 03:55 you'll notice two more of my favorite drunken dance moves, The Ass-Slap and The Crazy Arm Helicopter. While I usually only rock these moves with a blood alcohol level well above the legal limit and accompany the Arm Helicopter with a loud "WOOOOOOOOO!", it's clear that JT is so drunk on performing that he cannot help but bust them out during the almost-finale of his show. So here it is, the clip of the most heartwarming and beautiful Timber-moves I've ever seen. Enjoy.
Also, for you super fans out there, here's a little chunk featuring "Cry Me A River" that I really just can't get enough of. The show is On Demand for people who get HBO all month, so I suggest you find a friend with On Demand HBO and get on it!
....Aaaaaand last but not least, here's the shit-tacular video for "What Goes Around/Comes Around." Look out for JT telling ScoJo "I FUCKING KNOW YOU." The acting rivals his performance in Alpha Dog.
Friday, September 14, 2007
My Tummy Hurts And Now I'm Bored So I Think I'll Do This Filly-Outty Thing....
1. How did you get the idea for your MySpace name?
- I didn't want to be an emo little bitch so I just used my real name. Duh.
2. Where were you at 3:02 AM this morning?
- Curled up in a ball sleeping in my bed, BUT at 3:02ish YESTERDAY morning I was knocking on my roommate's door and asking her nicely to shut the hell up.
3. What are you listening to right now?
- Stacy on "What Not To Wear" tell some girl that she needs to wear trousers to elongate her body
4. What color is your cell phone?
- Black
5. Do you click on pop-ups?
- When I get really really really bored...sometimes
6. Do you own an iPod?
- His name is Terrence and I love him
7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning?
- Myself of course...is that even a question?
8. Is the person you have a crush on older or younger than you?
- Hottie Bearded Intern at Mt. Hermon? I'm going to assume older, but then I have never really talked to him so it's really anyone's guess
9. What did you do last night?
- cooked a chicken quesadilla that made my tummy hurt and watched The Office and fell asleep at like 10:45
10. What do you hope to do this weekend?
- Clean the bathroom, go grocery shopping, do homework. I'm kind of a big deal.
11. What are the last two digits of your cell phone number?
- I have three phone numbers; you'll have to be more specific.
San Francisco house: 23
Felton house: 21
Cell: 14
12. What was the last thing that you had to eat?
- Three pieces of sourdough toast with butter and lots of water. My tummy hurts real bad.
13. Who is the last person of the opposite sex that you hugged?
- Leoul! Wow that was an exciting hug too! Oh wait it might have been Thom...I can't remember who was last, either way they are some of my favorite opposite-sexers.
14. What was the last movie you watched?
- Some shitty re-enactment of the Tuskeegee Study at school. I fell asleep.
15. What do you dislike at the moment?
- Hurty tummy, dirty laundry, messy room
16. What food are you craving?
- Hmmm perhaps some chocolate? A truffle maybe?
17. What did you dream last night?
- No comment.
18. What's the last tv show you watched?
- What Not To Wear
19. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
- Any of my necklaces that I've gotten for my birthdays.
20. Name 1 person on your Top Friends who knows you best?
- Um pretty much all of them, minus Blue Pig.
21. Do you always lock your door?
- Car door? House door? Room door? Be specific. Car - yes, house - yes, room - sometimes.
23. Are you on any medication?
- Niaspan 1000mg every night.
24. Do you like someone?
- No but my hormones are kind of out of control lately. Every time I see a bearded man I have trouble looking away. This is problematic on the bus, at the store, etc.
26. What is your favorite frozen treat?
- Tough call. I do love a good ChocoTaco, as well as Drumsticks and fudge bars.
27. How many piercings/tattoos do you have?
- Two piercings in each ear, one on the top of my right ear cartilage son.
28. Wheres your favorite place to be?
- Felton! San Francisco! I really like most of the places that I live, or else I wouldn't live there.
30. Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
- AnnE, Madeline, Squrty
31. When was the last text you sent?
- Like an hour ago to Bekah.
32. Do you care what people think about you?
- Sometimes, it depends on who they are. I care about what my patients think about me and my teachers and so on. With my friends I am not as concerned.
33. Have you ever done something to make trouble?
- Is this a real question?
34. Where do you wish you were right now?
- I like it right here (living room couch in SF), I just wish I had some more people with me.
35. What is your font color on AIM/MSN?
- green
36. Where do you live?
- San Francisco
37. Have you ever moshed?
- There's not a lot of moshing at 'NSync concerts...
38. What was your first kiss like?
- Haven't had it yet.
39. Do you like the person who posted this last?
- Yes, I would like to have her babies.
40. Do you know their birthday?
- March something. I want to say the first, but I could be wrong. Somewhere near the beginning of the month?
42. What words do you say a lot?
- Shit
43. What do you smell like right now?
- Gain
44. What is your favorite color?
- Purple and green
45. Do you like mustard?
- it is my favorite sandwich condiment.
46. What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
- "If we just go cut ourself, all the pain will go away..."
47. Would you ever sky dive?
- no no no no no no o
48. What color is your pillow case?
- I have three pillows; sage green, white dots, and purple
49. If you could say something to your ex what would it be?
- Who are you?
50. Whose was the last stomach you saw?
- Mine. I was looking at it in the mirror because it was hurting!
51. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
- I LOVE hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
52. Have you ever been to California?
- Stupid question.
53. What is the thing that you would most like to change about you?
- My fatness?
53. Did you ever think to yourself and wonder if you're really real?
- This is some existentialist bullshit.
54. What celebrities do people say you look like?
- A bunch of Asians, according to the "what celebrity do you look like" thinger.
55. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but don't?
- Yes because usually if I ask someone to call it's because I really need to talk to them. I don't take phone conversations lightly.
56. Are you a jealous person?
- Yes.
58. What was the last thing you typed?
- "lightly." I re-used Ducky's answer to #56.
59. Do you ever feel guilty about eating meat?
- Only if I knew the meat (RIP Hamletta)
60. What's something you wish you would have known 10 years ago?
- How inconsequential high school really is...I used to think I was such a big deal.
- I didn't want to be an emo little bitch so I just used my real name. Duh.
2. Where were you at 3:02 AM this morning?
- Curled up in a ball sleeping in my bed, BUT at 3:02ish YESTERDAY morning I was knocking on my roommate's door and asking her nicely to shut the hell up.
3. What are you listening to right now?
- Stacy on "What Not To Wear" tell some girl that she needs to wear trousers to elongate her body
4. What color is your cell phone?
- Black
5. Do you click on pop-ups?
- When I get really really really bored...sometimes
6. Do you own an iPod?
- His name is Terrence and I love him
7. Who was the first person you thought of this morning?
- Myself of course...is that even a question?
8. Is the person you have a crush on older or younger than you?
- Hottie Bearded Intern at Mt. Hermon? I'm going to assume older, but then I have never really talked to him so it's really anyone's guess
9. What did you do last night?
- cooked a chicken quesadilla that made my tummy hurt and watched The Office and fell asleep at like 10:45
10. What do you hope to do this weekend?
- Clean the bathroom, go grocery shopping, do homework. I'm kind of a big deal.
11. What are the last two digits of your cell phone number?
- I have three phone numbers; you'll have to be more specific.
San Francisco house: 23
Felton house: 21
Cell: 14
12. What was the last thing that you had to eat?
- Three pieces of sourdough toast with butter and lots of water. My tummy hurts real bad.
13. Who is the last person of the opposite sex that you hugged?
- Leoul! Wow that was an exciting hug too! Oh wait it might have been Thom...I can't remember who was last, either way they are some of my favorite opposite-sexers.
14. What was the last movie you watched?
- Some shitty re-enactment of the Tuskeegee Study at school. I fell asleep.
15. What do you dislike at the moment?
- Hurty tummy, dirty laundry, messy room
16. What food are you craving?
- Hmmm perhaps some chocolate? A truffle maybe?
17. What did you dream last night?
- No comment.
18. What's the last tv show you watched?
- What Not To Wear
19. What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
- Any of my necklaces that I've gotten for my birthdays.
20. Name 1 person on your Top Friends who knows you best?
- Um pretty much all of them, minus Blue Pig.
21. Do you always lock your door?
- Car door? House door? Room door? Be specific. Car - yes, house - yes, room - sometimes.
23. Are you on any medication?
- Niaspan 1000mg every night.
24. Do you like someone?
- No but my hormones are kind of out of control lately. Every time I see a bearded man I have trouble looking away. This is problematic on the bus, at the store, etc.
26. What is your favorite frozen treat?
- Tough call. I do love a good ChocoTaco, as well as Drumsticks and fudge bars.
27. How many piercings/tattoos do you have?
- Two piercings in each ear, one on the top of my right ear cartilage son.
28. Wheres your favorite place to be?
- Felton! San Francisco! I really like most of the places that I live, or else I wouldn't live there.
30. Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
- AnnE, Madeline, Squrty
31. When was the last text you sent?
- Like an hour ago to Bekah.
32. Do you care what people think about you?
- Sometimes, it depends on who they are. I care about what my patients think about me and my teachers and so on. With my friends I am not as concerned.
33. Have you ever done something to make trouble?
- Is this a real question?
34. Where do you wish you were right now?
- I like it right here (living room couch in SF), I just wish I had some more people with me.
35. What is your font color on AIM/MSN?
- green
36. Where do you live?
- San Francisco
37. Have you ever moshed?
- There's not a lot of moshing at 'NSync concerts...
38. What was your first kiss like?
- Haven't had it yet.
39. Do you like the person who posted this last?
- Yes, I would like to have her babies.
40. Do you know their birthday?
- March something. I want to say the first, but I could be wrong. Somewhere near the beginning of the month?
42. What words do you say a lot?
- Shit
43. What do you smell like right now?
- Gain
44. What is your favorite color?
- Purple and green
45. Do you like mustard?
- it is my favorite sandwich condiment.
46. What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
- "If we just go cut ourself, all the pain will go away..."
47. Would you ever sky dive?
- no no no no no no o
48. What color is your pillow case?
- I have three pillows; sage green, white dots, and purple
49. If you could say something to your ex what would it be?
- Who are you?
50. Whose was the last stomach you saw?
- Mine. I was looking at it in the mirror because it was hurting!
51. Do you enjoy giving hugs?
- I LOVE hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
52. Have you ever been to California?
- Stupid question.
53. What is the thing that you would most like to change about you?
- My fatness?
53. Did you ever think to yourself and wonder if you're really real?
- This is some existentialist bullshit.
54. What celebrities do people say you look like?
- A bunch of Asians, according to the "what celebrity do you look like" thinger.
55. Does it annoy you when someone says they'll call but don't?
- Yes because usually if I ask someone to call it's because I really need to talk to them. I don't take phone conversations lightly.
56. Are you a jealous person?
- Yes.
58. What was the last thing you typed?
- "lightly." I re-used Ducky's answer to #56.
59. Do you ever feel guilty about eating meat?
- Only if I knew the meat (RIP Hamletta)
60. What's something you wish you would have known 10 years ago?
- How inconsequential high school really is...I used to think I was such a big deal.
My Name is Vanessa, and I Have a Theory!
THEORY: Chris Martin from Coldplay has a deviated septum.
PROOF: On every Coldplay song I have ever heard it sounds like he has a cold. It's especially prominent on the Coldplay song with Kanye West on his (Kanye's) new album. Either that's one hell of a persistent cold, or else he's got some nasal/septal blockage. Trust me on this, I'm a nurse.
PROOF: On every Coldplay song I have ever heard it sounds like he has a cold. It's especially prominent on the Coldplay song with Kanye West on his (Kanye's) new album. Either that's one hell of a persistent cold, or else he's got some nasal/septal blockage. Trust me on this, I'm a nurse.
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