[21:54] Vanessa2you: say something funny so I can put it on my blog
[21:54] The Man PRefekt: life is like a tire iron
[21:55] The Man PRefekt: cold hard and and used to screw things
[21:55] Vanessa2you: wow
[21:55] The Man PRefekt: haha
[21:55] Vanessa2you: that makes it on sheer stupidity
[21:55] Vanessa2you: congratulations
Monday, May 14, 2007
Nightmare!
This morning I dreamt that I was trapped in a hospital/mall. Matt Damon was my boyfriend and we were hanging out smelling perfumes in Macy's when someone codes(stopped breathing, no heartbeat, basically dead) on the sixth floor. We're riding the elevator up to the sixth floor at top speed, since I am for some reason the only person in the hospital/mall who is licensed to work on patients (which I'm not, actually). The damn elevator keeps stopping on every floor and CNAs (nursing assistants) keep asking me to help them reposition their patients, who are all octagenarians with new hips. I am growing more and more frustrated as Matt Damon, being eternally compassionate, gladly indulges each CNA on every floor, leaving the elevator to help move patients on and off the toilet while I fume and press the hold button. Finally we arrive at the sixth floor and I leap off the elevator. There's a bunch of other CNAs yelling at me for taking so long. I run into the room where the patient is coding. I look down at the patient and wake up.
I sit up in bed. My phone is ringing.
I look to see who's calling. It's my friend Natasha. I look at the clock. It's 7:57. Natasha is calling because my alarm didn't go off. I have an 8:00 final beginning in three minutes.
I sit up in bed. My phone is ringing.
I look to see who's calling. It's my friend Natasha. I look at the clock. It's 7:57. Natasha is calling because my alarm didn't go off. I have an 8:00 final beginning in three minutes.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
One Sweet Day
I was cavorting about the city today with my good friend AnnE Keller when the subject of my funeral plans was brought up. For those of you not in the know, I never thought I would live past the age of eighteen. I couldn't see myself getting any older, so I always just assumed that meant that I would die my senior year of high school. Knowing and accepting this fate, I began to (very intricately) plan my funeral. I've made a few changes since then and I had to let AnnE in on them. First, I would like everyone walking into the service to get a fan with a picture of my head on it, since I plan to die in the summer when everyone's hot. I would also like Sarah Balch to be standing up front singing "With You In Your Dreams" by Hanson, accompanied by only a piano. I would like to be eulogized by everyone in attendance, no matter how well they may or may not have known me. I am also requesting to be buried with Blue Pig (check out his 'Space if you don't know what I'm talking about) and Simon, my bear. I want an open casket so that everyone can see my carefully chosen outfit and coiffed hair. After everyone has finished singing, I would like my boyfriend/husband/lover to stand up and sing "Always Be My Baby" by Mariah Carey with acoustic accompaniment and a large choir full of black people as backup. During this song I would like a slideshow of pictures of myself with friends and family to play on giant screens in the background. After that I would like _-CANG to come on stage and do a dramatic version of "One Sweet Day" by Mariah Carey and Boys II Men. I want them in floor-length white choir-esque robes. The robes should be somewhat translucent and flowy. They should also shimmer. I would like AnnE to take the vocals of Mariah, Cassady to be the deep-voiced guy who randomly talks during the song, Natalie to be the main singer from Boys II Men, and Genevieve to sing only during the choruses as one of the miscellaneous Boys II Men members. During this performance I'd like a slideshow of photos of JUST me looking fabulous (Squirt, perhaps we should do a photo shoot before I die). I would like it all to culminate at the end of the song with a photo of me looking straight into the camera with an angel's halo superimposed over my head, along with my birth and death dates underneath. At this point, everyone in attendance will no doubt be in tears. This is when the real finale hits: the lights suddenly turn off and a strobe light comes on as my body is lifted out of the casket on invisible strings and flown out over the crowd while "The Final Countdown" by Europe plays. I will then be placed on top of my casket in a triumphant pose. This will, of course, shock the audience into a stunned silence. They will then explode with laughter and walk away from my funeral feeling incredibly giggly and nearly cheerful. So that's basically it. I'm still looking for someone to do a Ferrell-esque version of "Dust In The Wind" at some point, as well as a pianist and guitarist to accompany Sarah/my lover. Also, someone in charge of setting up the grand finale. Let me know if you're interested, faithful readers! In case you wanted a little sneak preview, here's what you have to look forward to during the "One Sweet Day" performance...
"Let's Talk On AIM Sometime..." Vol. V: The Truest Thing I've Ever Heard
[00:27] sarahmwbalch: whats a friend with out snuggles?!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
This Summer is Really Heating Up!!
Coincidence! It's funny that Cassady blogged about making lists of stuff to do over the summer, because I was going to come on and blog a list too! My list isn't of things I hope to do, more of things that I can't WAIT to do. Let's break them down into categories, shall we? First of all, the most important, TV: we've got the Rob & Big season premiere on May 22nd, The Simple Life: Counselors at some point, and a bunch of other awesome crap that I can't remember right now. Movies? Um, let's kick it off with Shrek the Third this Friday, Ocean's 13 in June, HARRY FREAKING POTTER in July, and round it all out with The Bourne Ultimatum in August. Music? Between the field trip to see Brother Ali in a couple of weeks and Daft Punk in July, I'm going insane. What more could a girl want? How about HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS?! What about Gen's 21st birthday blowout, when both AnnE and Cassady will be intoxicated for the very first time? How about unlimited summer staff snuggles? What about Sarah freaking Balch being home? Daaaaaaaamn, it's gonna be a good couple months....if I can get a job.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Yes Yes Y'all, And You Don't Dare Stop....
I got my tickets for Brother Ali today. I can't believe I'm driving ten hours to my least favorite state in the country to see a show. Too bad it's going to be totally worth it and probably one of the most incredible field trips I've ever taken. I mean, Brother freaking Ali? Bitch please. Maybe we'll fall in love and have ten thousand albino babies. I'd definitely be down for that. Sorry this blog is so lame, I'm kind of unmotivated and just too busy being really stoked on this show.
PS: In case you were wondering, my diet sucks and I am still fat. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please direct your attention to "Muffins and Milk". Thaaaaaanks.
PS: In case you were wondering, my diet sucks and I am still fat. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please direct your attention to "Muffins and Milk". Thaaaaaanks.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
The 'Space
I've decided that we should all start referring to MySpace as simply "The 'Space." Spread the word.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
"Let's Talk On Aim Sometime..." Vol. IV: The Madeline Monologues
While talking about the boy I like...
[21:30] Vanessa2you: ...then I can get him drunk and seduce him
[21:30] AMsquirrel624: ahahaha
[21:30] Vanessa2you: that's the goal, anyway
[21:30] AMsquirrel624: wow
[21:30] AMsquirrel624: i am proud of you
[21:30] Vanessa2you: thanks dear
[21:30] AMsquirrel624: no really... do it
[21:30] AMsquirrel624: release the whore from within
[21:30] Vanessa2you: ...then I can get him drunk and seduce him
[21:30] AMsquirrel624: ahahaha
[21:30] Vanessa2you: that's the goal, anyway
[21:30] AMsquirrel624: wow
[21:30] AMsquirrel624: i am proud of you
[21:30] Vanessa2you: thanks dear
[21:30] AMsquirrel624: no really... do it
[21:30] AMsquirrel624: release the whore from within
That Damn Survey That Everyone Else Is Doing...
Habits:
Do you tend to speed when you drive?
only by like 15 or 20 mph
Do you smoke cigarettes?
gross
Does your temper flare a lot?
I'd like to think that I'm very level headed. I get irritated with stupid people but it's not really my temper, right?
Do you get emotional easily?
Yes. I'm very sensitive.
Do you get obnoxious when you're drunk?
I don't think so. I think I just get a little louder, a little giggly-er, and a little more fun.
Are you lazy?
I pride myself on being the laziest person I know.
Name one thing you do that people always tell you about.
I'm loud. Don't freaking tell me I'm loud, I know already. I get it.
Are you superstitious?
Not really, but I also have really bad luck so maybe I should become superstitious?
Do you get bored with relationships quickly?
No I am probably the most loyal kid in the world.
Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
Never, I need at least a sheet even on the hottest nights.
What position do you sleep in?
Start out on my tummy, shift to the sides by morning.
What do you do when you're angry?
Frown, speak eloquently, glare, cry.
What do you do when you're sad?
Cry. Silently. Alone.
Who do you call when you have a bad day?
Um well I try to send out about 6 text messages to like Gen, Ducky, Squirt, AnnE, Smurf, etc. and wait for someone to respond. Pretty much all my friends are amazing so I don't really need to pick and choose.
-MUSiC ASS0CiATi0N-
Song you listen to when you're Happy: Daft Punk - "Robot Rock"
Sad: "Prince Charming" - Brother Ali...it brings me joy
Angry: "Casimir Pulaski Day" - Sufjan Stevens...it calms me.
Makes you cry: 'NSync - "Gone" (don't judge me)
Love Song: "Sunday" - Bloc Party
Favorite Song: is this a joke?
-FiNiSH THE SENTENCE-
I'll always... loooooove youuuuuuuuuu ooooooohaaaaaaaa
I will never...let you touch my knees
Why do...I want to nap so badly?
I'm happiest...snuggling?
My friends...don't snuggle me enough dammit.
My parents...rock.
I can't wait for...school to be over, Brother Ali.
I want...to get some snuggle action.
My secret...doesn't make friends?
I'm sick of...MTV reality shows about people in Hawaii or people in Laguna Beach. Who cares? Not me. Give me more Rob and Big and I'll be good to go.
Gas prices...pain me.
I'm interested in...your last bowel movement. Time, consistency, color, difficulty?
I wish I could...get a job lined up for summer. I should have just done freaking summer staff.
I can't stand... country music, most of the people in my clinical group.
-W0RD ASS0CiATi0N-
Trick. --- pony
Blow. --- job (did you really expect anything different?)
Life. --- sucks. Actually I feel pretty good about life, this is just where my mind went first.
Airplane. --- ride
Mailbox. --- check
Rock. – chair
Power. --- play
Tree.--- hug
Man. --- boobs - hahaha!
Run. --- no
Book. --- SEVEN!
TV.--- nothing good on
Phone. --- broken
Shoes.--- mail (sent Ducky her shoe today)
-Y0UR ABC'S-
A - is for the last person that made you ANGRY.
everyone was pissing me off on Sunday but I guess that doesn't count. Mama was a little cranky....
B - is for BEER you prefer?
Wheat beer from Trader Joe's
C - is for do you have a CAT?
Sam and Stella
D - is for can you DANCE?
Not to brag or anything, but I have been told by multiple people that I am a disturbingly good dancer. Usually I have to be somewhat intoxicated to really bust a move but once I'm feeling comfortable I think I'm pretty damn good. I have mad rhythm for a white girl.
E - is for do you have your EARS pierced?
many times. Bet you didn't know that!
F - is for your favorite FOOD?
This is a hard question. I love all food. That's kind of the problem. Pastries?
G - is for did you ever watch GUTS on Nickelodeon?
Psh I just watched GUTS last time I was at AnnE's house on GAS...right before LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE!
H - is for the last person who HUGGED you?
Natasha, side hug.
I - is for close your eyes.. what IMAGE do you see?
Blue Pig!
J - is for have you ever been to JAIL?
I wish.
K - is for when is the last time you flew a KITE?
I remember it distinctly...Mexico 2005 with the Van Pykeren kids. I had Sam VP laughing so hard he was rolling on the ground. Probably one of my happiest moments.
L - is for the LOVE of your life.
Oh man.
M - is for the last piece of MAIL you got.
Rolling Stone magazine
N - is for do you remember NERF guns?
Yes. Stupid question.
O - is for do you OWN a car?
Yes but I'm looking to own a newer one...
P - is for your favorite PASTTIME.
napping, snuggling, partying, talking.
Q - is for do you like peace & QUIET?
Sometimes.
R - is for do you like the color RED?
Not really but if it looks good on Ducky then hey, who am I to judge?
S - is for how many hours of SLEEP you need to function?
At least 6. Closer to 8.
T - is for what TIME is it?
6:00 on the DOT!
U - is for what is UNDER your bed?
at home - kitty, at school - tons of crap.
V - is for what you did last VALENTINE'S day.
drank beer and ate burritos with meagen and friends.
W - is for do you drink a lot of WATER?
hell yes son, up to 2 liters already today. (but who's counting?)
X - is for have you ever had an X-RAY?
teeth neck foot chest
Y - is for the last person you YELLED at.?
I yell all the time, mostly in fun. Yesterday I yelled "HOW CUTE ARE YOU?!" across the cafeteria because I knew it would embarass my friend. It did.
Z - is for have you ever watched ZORRO?
no, actually
-RAND0M-
Who do you wish you could hang out with right now?
I wish I could have all my friends in one place and they would all get along and it would be amazing. My MH pals, V-CANG, and my school pals....sigh.
Name one thing you absolutely can not stand.
the majority of conferees at the Herm
Where do you spend most of your time?
sitting on my ass at the computer DUH
If you could fly, where would you go first?
home of course. I would have to pick up my peeps for an adventure.
What was the best vacation you've ever been on?
Well we don't go on many vacations but I guess East Coast 04 with the fam was a good one.
Have you ever hit a squirrel when you were driving?
No, I brake for animals.
Did your car ever break down?
Is this a joke? Seriously?
What's your favorite thing to do on the weekend?
sleep, play, eat, drink
What radio station do you listen to most often?
none
Pick one: Papa John's, Dominoes, or Pizza Hut.
none of the above. Tony & Alba's woot woot
What is the longest amount of time you've been awake?
like 23 1/2 hours.
What would you do if you found out the world was ending in one week?
Tell the boy I like that I love him and make him sex me. ALL. WEEK. LONG.
Do scary movies make you paranoid when you watch them alone?
It depends on the movie. The Ring? Oh yes.
Name one thing you've lied about recently.
I lie all the time so it's hard to tell.
What is the worst movie you've ever seen?
THE NOTEBOOK.
Who was the first person to ever give you flowers?
probably one of my aunts.
IF YOU WERE A COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
bright royal crayola purple
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT DRUNK?
Saturday. It was kind of an accident.
NAME A PERSON THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER "C"?
a person whose NAME starts with C is CarolSmurf, but a general person who starts with C is a Chinese person or a Contractor or a Cockbagel.
WHERE'S THE BEST PLACE TO GET ICE CREAM?
Ben & Jerry's, though I don't think they have shops. <--Guido, come to SF. There's a B&J's like 6 blocks down from my school. It's amazing.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?
...nursing?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW?
Wake up at the asscrack of dawn, go to clinical, lunch with the clinical group, nap, dance around the room with Meagen, babysit.
WHAT MOVIE DO YOU WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW?
Freaking Ninja Turtles STILL.
Do you tend to speed when you drive?
only by like 15 or 20 mph
Do you smoke cigarettes?
gross
Does your temper flare a lot?
I'd like to think that I'm very level headed. I get irritated with stupid people but it's not really my temper, right?
Do you get emotional easily?
Yes. I'm very sensitive.
Do you get obnoxious when you're drunk?
I don't think so. I think I just get a little louder, a little giggly-er, and a little more fun.
Are you lazy?
I pride myself on being the laziest person I know.
Name one thing you do that people always tell you about.
I'm loud. Don't freaking tell me I'm loud, I know already. I get it.
Are you superstitious?
Not really, but I also have really bad luck so maybe I should become superstitious?
Do you get bored with relationships quickly?
No I am probably the most loyal kid in the world.
Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
Never, I need at least a sheet even on the hottest nights.
What position do you sleep in?
Start out on my tummy, shift to the sides by morning.
What do you do when you're angry?
Frown, speak eloquently, glare, cry.
What do you do when you're sad?
Cry. Silently. Alone.
Who do you call when you have a bad day?
Um well I try to send out about 6 text messages to like Gen, Ducky, Squirt, AnnE, Smurf, etc. and wait for someone to respond. Pretty much all my friends are amazing so I don't really need to pick and choose.
-MUSiC ASS0CiATi0N-
Song you listen to when you're Happy: Daft Punk - "Robot Rock"
Sad: "Prince Charming" - Brother Ali...it brings me joy
Angry: "Casimir Pulaski Day" - Sufjan Stevens...it calms me.
Makes you cry: 'NSync - "Gone" (don't judge me)
Love Song: "Sunday" - Bloc Party
Favorite Song: is this a joke?
-FiNiSH THE SENTENCE-
I'll always... loooooove youuuuuuuuuu ooooooohaaaaaaaa
I will never...let you touch my knees
Why do...I want to nap so badly?
I'm happiest...snuggling?
My friends...don't snuggle me enough dammit.
My parents...rock.
I can't wait for...school to be over, Brother Ali.
I want...to get some snuggle action.
My secret...doesn't make friends?
I'm sick of...MTV reality shows about people in Hawaii or people in Laguna Beach. Who cares? Not me. Give me more Rob and Big and I'll be good to go.
Gas prices...pain me.
I'm interested in...your last bowel movement. Time, consistency, color, difficulty?
I wish I could...get a job lined up for summer. I should have just done freaking summer staff.
I can't stand... country music, most of the people in my clinical group.
-W0RD ASS0CiATi0N-
Trick. --- pony
Blow. --- job (did you really expect anything different?)
Life. --- sucks. Actually I feel pretty good about life, this is just where my mind went first.
Airplane. --- ride
Mailbox. --- check
Rock. – chair
Power. --- play
Tree.--- hug
Man. --- boobs - hahaha!
Run. --- no
Book. --- SEVEN!
TV.--- nothing good on
Phone. --- broken
Shoes.--- mail (sent Ducky her shoe today)
-Y0UR ABC'S-
A - is for the last person that made you ANGRY.
everyone was pissing me off on Sunday but I guess that doesn't count. Mama was a little cranky....
B - is for BEER you prefer?
Wheat beer from Trader Joe's
C - is for do you have a CAT?
Sam and Stella
D - is for can you DANCE?
Not to brag or anything, but I have been told by multiple people that I am a disturbingly good dancer. Usually I have to be somewhat intoxicated to really bust a move but once I'm feeling comfortable I think I'm pretty damn good. I have mad rhythm for a white girl.
E - is for do you have your EARS pierced?
many times. Bet you didn't know that!
F - is for your favorite FOOD?
This is a hard question. I love all food. That's kind of the problem. Pastries?
G - is for did you ever watch GUTS on Nickelodeon?
Psh I just watched GUTS last time I was at AnnE's house on GAS...right before LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE!
H - is for the last person who HUGGED you?
Natasha, side hug.
I - is for close your eyes.. what IMAGE do you see?
Blue Pig!
J - is for have you ever been to JAIL?
I wish.
K - is for when is the last time you flew a KITE?
I remember it distinctly...Mexico 2005 with the Van Pykeren kids. I had Sam VP laughing so hard he was rolling on the ground. Probably one of my happiest moments.
L - is for the LOVE of your life.
Oh man.
M - is for the last piece of MAIL you got.
Rolling Stone magazine
N - is for do you remember NERF guns?
Yes. Stupid question.
O - is for do you OWN a car?
Yes but I'm looking to own a newer one...
P - is for your favorite PASTTIME.
napping, snuggling, partying, talking.
Q - is for do you like peace & QUIET?
Sometimes.
R - is for do you like the color RED?
Not really but if it looks good on Ducky then hey, who am I to judge?
S - is for how many hours of SLEEP you need to function?
At least 6. Closer to 8.
T - is for what TIME is it?
6:00 on the DOT!
U - is for what is UNDER your bed?
at home - kitty, at school - tons of crap.
V - is for what you did last VALENTINE'S day.
drank beer and ate burritos with meagen and friends.
W - is for do you drink a lot of WATER?
hell yes son, up to 2 liters already today. (but who's counting?)
X - is for have you ever had an X-RAY?
teeth neck foot chest
Y - is for the last person you YELLED at.?
I yell all the time, mostly in fun. Yesterday I yelled "HOW CUTE ARE YOU?!" across the cafeteria because I knew it would embarass my friend. It did.
Z - is for have you ever watched ZORRO?
no, actually
-RAND0M-
Who do you wish you could hang out with right now?
I wish I could have all my friends in one place and they would all get along and it would be amazing. My MH pals, V-CANG, and my school pals....sigh.
Name one thing you absolutely can not stand.
the majority of conferees at the Herm
Where do you spend most of your time?
sitting on my ass at the computer DUH
If you could fly, where would you go first?
home of course. I would have to pick up my peeps for an adventure.
What was the best vacation you've ever been on?
Well we don't go on many vacations but I guess East Coast 04 with the fam was a good one.
Have you ever hit a squirrel when you were driving?
No, I brake for animals.
Did your car ever break down?
Is this a joke? Seriously?
What's your favorite thing to do on the weekend?
sleep, play, eat, drink
What radio station do you listen to most often?
none
Pick one: Papa John's, Dominoes, or Pizza Hut.
none of the above. Tony & Alba's woot woot
What is the longest amount of time you've been awake?
like 23 1/2 hours.
What would you do if you found out the world was ending in one week?
Tell the boy I like that I love him and make him sex me. ALL. WEEK. LONG.
Do scary movies make you paranoid when you watch them alone?
It depends on the movie. The Ring? Oh yes.
Name one thing you've lied about recently.
I lie all the time so it's hard to tell.
What is the worst movie you've ever seen?
THE NOTEBOOK.
Who was the first person to ever give you flowers?
probably one of my aunts.
IF YOU WERE A COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU BE?
bright royal crayola purple
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT DRUNK?
Saturday. It was kind of an accident.
NAME A PERSON THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER "C"?
a person whose NAME starts with C is CarolSmurf, but a general person who starts with C is a Chinese person or a Contractor or a Cockbagel.
WHERE'S THE BEST PLACE TO GET ICE CREAM?
Ben & Jerry's, though I don't think they have shops. <--Guido, come to SF. There's a B&J's like 6 blocks down from my school. It's amazing.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?
...nursing?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TOMORROW?
Wake up at the asscrack of dawn, go to clinical, lunch with the clinical group, nap, dance around the room with Meagen, babysit.
WHAT MOVIE DO YOU WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW?
Freaking Ninja Turtles STILL.
Monday, May 7, 2007
"Let's Talk On Aim Sometime..." Vol. III
[13:02] bestdbspaz: why is one simple paper so hard
[13:02] bestdbspaz: ps i found your new blog
[13:02] Vanessa2you: because you're retarded
[13:02] bestdbspaz: fuck you
[13:02] bestdbspaz: hows that for retarded
[13:02] Vanessa2you: lol still pretty fucking retarded
[13:02] Vanessa2you: :-D
[13:02] Vanessa2you: ahaha
[13:03] bestdbspaz: know whats retarted-EMOTICONS
[13:03] bestdbspaz: are you fucking me with those thing---
[13:03] Vanessa2you: you know what's REALLY retarded?
[13:03] bestdbspaz: pigeons?
[13:03] Vanessa2you: not being able to spell retarded right even though it's written in front of you 3 times...
[13:02] bestdbspaz: ps i found your new blog
[13:02] Vanessa2you: because you're retarded
[13:02] bestdbspaz: fuck you
[13:02] bestdbspaz: hows that for retarded
[13:02] Vanessa2you: lol still pretty fucking retarded
[13:02] Vanessa2you: :-D
[13:02] Vanessa2you: ahaha
[13:03] bestdbspaz: know whats retarted-EMOTICONS
[13:03] bestdbspaz: are you fucking me with those thing---
[13:03] Vanessa2you: you know what's REALLY retarded?
[13:03] bestdbspaz: pigeons?
[13:03] Vanessa2you: not being able to spell retarded right even though it's written in front of you 3 times...
Muffins and Milk
I have decided that I'm tired of being fat, so I'm going on a diet. This diet basically consists of me not eating so damn much food but eating small meals more often. I kicked it off about an hour ago with a muffin and a carton of milk. I can't see this going very well, but I suppose we'll find out. In other news, yesterday was a good day. Somehow I ended up with one of Ducky's flip flops and an awesome tan. What more could a girl want? Blue Pig is becoming kind of a big deal. He got a prime seat on the Listener merchandise table last night at their show, which is pretty exciting for a piggy from such humble roots (Ikea). Blue Pig's got big plans for this summer: a field trip to Oregon to meet up with Brother Ali, doing rounds at Mount Hermon, and perhaps even a flight to North Carolina to meet up with Squirty and get some Southern lovin'. If you haven't been introduced to Blue Pig yet, make sure to meet up with him on his MySpace. I guess that's all for now.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Charitable Giving
People tonight seem to think I'm a lot drunker than I actually am. This blog will prove to them that I'm basically sober, I just got a little crazy for a while there. Grandma Shirley's 75th birthday party was today and I think only three people total were not drunk. I haven't had that much fun in a long time. On to charitable giving, our subject for today's blog. Every summer the powers that be at Mount Hermon hit up all the incoming summer staff workers for a donation from each of their paychecks (keep in mind said summer staffers are making a maximum of $250 each week). They claim that, Mount Hermon being a non-profit organization, the rely solely on donations from caring people to fund their scholarship program for slightly poorer rich families to come and complain about what classroom their child is in. Anyway, I digress. The point is, a lot of workers end up throwing down about five bucks a month in donations to Mount Hermon. This year, however, summer staff's got a whole new pitch to look forward to. I will be taking Blue Pig around from department to department (Child Care, Day Camp, Dining, etc.) to try and raise money and awareness for the Nate Curry Tattoo Fund. Who is Blue Pig and what is this Fund that I speak of? Take your ass over to Blue Pig's MySpace and find out for yourself.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Motivate Me
I'm so tired. I don't want to write this blog. I don't have anything to write about. I have no motivation. I've been trying to be nice lately and I don't think it's working. I'm feeling kind of emo. Weekends do this to me.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Guilty Blog
I know, I know, I missed a day. I feel like I've let down my multitude (four) of faithful readers. I'm sorry, I really really am. To make up for it, here's the blog I would have written yesterday:
Today I spent about two hours finally cleaning out the shitbucket that is my car. I vaccuumed, I Windexed, hell, I even Armor-Alled. During this time of purification I came across some really interesting stuff. Here's a brief inventory:
- 11 empty water bottles
- 3 partially emptied water bottles
- 1 completely full water bottle
- iPod car charger, broken
- Cell phone car charger, broken
- Guns N Roses "Appetite for Destruction" cd, scratched beyond use
- Professional photography camera in blue Samsonite bag containing multiple pictures of San Francisco skylines, city streets, and dog parks. Owner contacted.
- 9 cardboard club/party/beer pong flyers previously placed on windshield/under wipers/in door crack
- 2 "Dory" name tags from Mount Hermon, homemade from construction paper and laminated
- 2 empty tubes of Burt's Bees chapstick
- 1 half-full tube of Burt's Bees chapstick
- 1 completely full pot of Burt's Bees chapstick
- 4 empty Orbit gum packages
- 2 full Orbit Wintergreen gum packages
- 1 half-full Orbit Bubble Mint gum package (SCORE!)
- 1 previously-chewed gingersnap, crusted to floor in backseat courtesy of Rudolph Magid (Bluetick Coonhound [dog])
Today I spent about two hours finally cleaning out the shitbucket that is my car. I vaccuumed, I Windexed, hell, I even Armor-Alled. During this time of purification I came across some really interesting stuff. Here's a brief inventory:
- 11 empty water bottles
- 3 partially emptied water bottles
- 1 completely full water bottle
- iPod car charger, broken
- Cell phone car charger, broken
- Guns N Roses "Appetite for Destruction" cd, scratched beyond use
- Professional photography camera in blue Samsonite bag containing multiple pictures of San Francisco skylines, city streets, and dog parks. Owner contacted.
- 9 cardboard club/party/beer pong flyers previously placed on windshield/under wipers/in door crack
- 2 "Dory" name tags from Mount Hermon, homemade from construction paper and laminated
- 2 empty tubes of Burt's Bees chapstick
- 1 half-full tube of Burt's Bees chapstick
- 1 completely full pot of Burt's Bees chapstick
- 4 empty Orbit gum packages
- 2 full Orbit Wintergreen gum packages
- 1 half-full Orbit Bubble Mint gum package (SCORE!)
- 1 previously-chewed gingersnap, crusted to floor in backseat courtesy of Rudolph Magid (Bluetick Coonhound [dog])
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Headed Home
Wow, what a satisfying day. I got a lot achieved and now I'm going to go eat some Whole Foods with the love of my life, Ms. Meagen Clendenen. After that I start the long (pretty f-ing short, actually) trek home for the weekend. Yes, the weekend. I only have class Monday through Wednesday. Jealous? You should be. And by you I am, of course, referring to my five, count 'em, FIVE faithful readers. The day I hit ten readers I may just implode with happiness.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Poor AnnE
An e-mail conversation I had today with AnnE...Poor girl got a lot more than she bargained for bringing up a kind of touchy subject:
-----Original Message-----
From: aekeller10@gmail.com
To: vanessa2you@aol.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 12:07 PM
Subject: I need a personal favor
I dont know why im bothering to do this now, but what are the chances/ who should I talk to to get me a job as an assistant for at month at the BIG MH??? Im thinking you have a pretty good in down there. I will be like a throw back to Jr High...
-----Original Message-----
From: vanessa2you@aol.com
To: aekeller10@gmail.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 4:04 PM
Subject: Re: Re: I need a personal favor
Trinity?
-----Original Message-----
From: aekeller10@gmail.com
To: vanessa2you@aol.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 4:04 PM
Subject: Re: I need a personal favor
I like the way you think? Is she still in charge there?
Are you working there this summer?
-----Original Message-----
From: vanessa2you@aol.com
To: aekeller10@gmail.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 4:04 PM
Subject: Re: Re: I need a personal favor
Those are all good questions. Pay attention as I attempt to answer them.
Trinity is technically still in charge, although this will be her last summer. She is actually sharing the job with her mom, but she would still probably be the one to go to if you want to work. Mr. Krabs is the director, so he'll be the one actually calling you, but I can talk to him too if you want. However, I'm pretty sure the numbers are really really low this summer and they might not even need assistants, so bear that in mind.
Am I working there? Fuck. I wish. I'm actually kind of freaking out about the whole summer thing. I don't have a job lined up and I'm done here in two weeks. I also am really really sad that I'm not doing summer staff because all my friends will be there except me. My fear of missing out is officially activated, especially since I'm in love with ________(name removed to protect the innocent object of my obsession). HOWEVER, I really don't want to do the actual work of SS - no money, no free time, too much drama, etc. Basically I'm freaking out. If worse comes to worse and I don't have a job when SS starts I'll probably end up assisting down there but I really really really don't want to. I'll still be around a lot to hang out and show up and do random circle times, but that's about it. Wow this was very cathartic. Sorry to dump it all on you. Can't wait for G-Shirl's 75th!
PS: You're an assclown and I hope you die, blah blah blah etc.
-----Original Message-----
From: aekeller10@gmail.com
To: vanessa2you@aol.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 12:07 PM
Subject: I need a personal favor
I dont know why im bothering to do this now, but what are the chances/ who should I talk to to get me a job as an assistant for at month at the BIG MH??? Im thinking you have a pretty good in down there. I will be like a throw back to Jr High...
-----Original Message-----
From: vanessa2you@aol.com
To: aekeller10@gmail.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 4:04 PM
Subject: Re: Re: I need a personal favor
Trinity?
-----Original Message-----
From: aekeller10@gmail.com
To: vanessa2you@aol.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 4:04 PM
Subject: Re: I need a personal favor
I like the way you think? Is she still in charge there?
Are you working there this summer?
-----Original Message-----
From: vanessa2you@aol.com
To: aekeller10@gmail.com
Sent: Tue, 1 May 2007 4:04 PM
Subject: Re: Re: I need a personal favor
Those are all good questions. Pay attention as I attempt to answer them.
Trinity is technically still in charge, although this will be her last summer. She is actually sharing the job with her mom, but she would still probably be the one to go to if you want to work. Mr. Krabs is the director, so he'll be the one actually calling you, but I can talk to him too if you want. However, I'm pretty sure the numbers are really really low this summer and they might not even need assistants, so bear that in mind.
Am I working there? Fuck. I wish. I'm actually kind of freaking out about the whole summer thing. I don't have a job lined up and I'm done here in two weeks. I also am really really sad that I'm not doing summer staff because all my friends will be there except me. My fear of missing out is officially activated, especially since I'm in love with ________(name removed to protect the innocent object of my obsession). HOWEVER, I really don't want to do the actual work of SS - no money, no free time, too much drama, etc. Basically I'm freaking out. If worse comes to worse and I don't have a job when SS starts I'll probably end up assisting down there but I really really really don't want to. I'll still be around a lot to hang out and show up and do random circle times, but that's about it. Wow this was very cathartic. Sorry to dump it all on you. Can't wait for G-Shirl's 75th!
PS: You're an assclown and I hope you die, blah blah blah etc.
Faithful Readers
I am up to three, count 'em, THREE faithful readers. This is the best thing to ever happen to me, besides Jesus, Brother Ali, etc. In other news, I've decided to start lying in my blogs. From here on out, my stories may or may not have actually happened to me. It'll be like a fun game for you, my faithful readers, to play everyday. Try to figure out if this blog is a lie too. Might I be lying about lying? See, it's getting fun already!
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