Surprise!

My underwear have been on inside-out all day. I just now noticed it.

Mike & Evander, You Will Be Missed

My fish died. I'm pretty sure they boiled, since I left them on the windowsill and it was really really hot and sunny in my room yesterday. I am a horrible fish mommy. I don't want to talk about it.



RIP Mike and Evander, you will be missed.



PS: Sorry I've been blogging so much lately; I've been reading a lot of David Sedaris.

That's Incredible!

This morning I had an absurd amount of laundry to do. It has been piling up for almost two weeks and today was The Day. I tossed in my first load of whites and started to get ready to go buy the new Justin Timberlake cd. Forty-five minutes later, I headed back to the laundry room to switch my clothes to the dryer from the washer. Imagine my horror when, while scraping the last wet sock from the washing machine, I saw just a hint of a pale white cord that could only belong to an iPod accessory lying benignly on the bottom of the washing machine.

TRAGEDY! SHOCK! SHORTNESS OF BREATH!

I yelled a few choice words and gingerly untangled what used to be my iPod earphones from the wet sock. Fearing the worst, I threw the sock to the ground and raced back to my charging iPod to see if, by some miracle, perhaps my earphones had survived their wet ride.

EXCITEMENT! GLEE! JOY OF JOYS!

They work! Not only are they functioning just as before, but now they are disturbingly white and clean as well. Really, this is probably the best thing to ever happen to my iPod earphones. They look like they just came off the shelf. Basically, this is one of the most amazing things to ever happen to me. I'm not reccommending putting all of your iPod accessories through the laundry, but if it happens to you, don't panic! Chances are it will turn out to be something really incredible.

Bugs

The past half hour has been one of the scariest times of my entire life. I was sitting in the recliner, enjoying a rerun of "Run's House," when all of a sudden I heard a loud buzzing. I looked towards the ceiling and saw what I assumed to be a friendly mosquito hawk. However, two minutes later, a sound much like the hum of an airplane engine whizzed past my ear. Understandably startled, I whipped my head around to see what kind of kamikaze warrior was dive-bombing my face. The "friendly mosquito hawk" turned out to be an enormous beetle flying thingy, which made an extremely disturbing thumping sound when it landed on the table next to me. After a somewhat delayed reaction time (which is also slightly disturbing, since I work with small children), I freaked out and ran away from the bug. Not five minutes later, creepy bug attacked again, this time flying underneath the chair I was sitting in. Needless to say, I freaked out again. I decided to just run away to bed since it was already 1:15 and the scary bug was now M.I.A.
Upon arrival in my bedroom, I began to close the windows above my bed for the night. I was feeling much more relaxed, since evil bug was located many rooms away and my kitty would protect me from it if it tried to come near. I pulled out the right-side curtain and went into near-epileptic spasms as weird jumping-flying slightly smaller bug burst out of folds in curtain. I quickly realized that this was probably the bug I saw earlier in the morning when I pulled the curtains back. I planned my attack, smashed, and killed said bug within two minutes of initial freak-out. As I began to pull the left-side curtain closed, I suddenly realized that the bug that freaked me out this morning was not a weird jumpy-flying bug, but a creepy fat little spider that reminded me very much of a Brown Recluse. While my brain struggled to make the connection, my hand continued to close the curtain. Of course, creepy fat little spider came scuttling out of left-side curtain. Freaking out ensued. Creepy fat little spider when racing off DOWN THE BED to who knows where.
Summary: Huge scary beetle flying thing in living room. Creepy fat little spider on the loose somewhere near/in bed in which I am currently laying. Dead jumpy-flying weird bug smushed between folds in right-side curtain. Three daddy long legs under shelf and behind chair.
Pray for me.