Friday, October 26, 2007

Partaaaaaay yeah!

I just got home from a partyt!!! It was okay, not very fun but still okay. I wore my halloween costume - it made its debut! Now I cam freaking cobvred in glitter head to toe but that's okay, I cna deal with it tomorrow. I am also a ltitle bit drunk still, but I felt compelled fo blog! None of my roommates avtually made it too the party. Maddie piked on the strairs, Josh puked in the bowl, and Dani had tocome home to take care of the pukers. Then I got a little to drunk and itw asn't fun anymore so I came hjome too. We are supposed to have another party at our hjosue tomorrow night but who knowws if it will happen because everyon'e going to be hung over but me! I feel fab, like a spring chicken in the springtime. Blogger keeps telling me that I'm spelling okay wrong and that's drving me up the wall, so I think I'll go to bed \now.

Faithful readers, jsut keep in mind who's thinking of you at midnght on a Fridayu when she's home from a party earli and still a little bit \tipsed.


PS I am naked to write this...WHY?

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Mary Katherine Gallagher in the Med Room

Let me begin this post by explaining the intricacies of working in a hospital environment. On each floor there is a med room that usually houses only a giant Pyxis machine that dispenses medications, a shelf full of syringes and shit, a counter with a sink, and some garbage cans. There's another room on the floor that has all the clean linens and another Pyxis with patient supplies, like bedpans and IV tubes and stuff, called the clean utility room. On the fourth floor of the hospital where I work, I guess space is at a premium because these two rooms are combined into one. The worst part is that this one room is roughly the size of a large closet and set up in a very cramped manner. That being said, here is an educational diagram of the fourth floor med room, including colored dots depicting my placement in the room when the shit hit the fan:

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Now that you understand the set up, let's delve right into the story. I was on the phone with the pharmacy trying to sound badass and convince them to send my patient their medications while my professor waited to log me into the Pyxis. The physical therapist walked in as I was hanging up the phone to introduce her new physical therapy assistant to us and to orient him to the med room. This assistant turned out to be sensationally hot, and the following is a true-to-life account of my actual reaction to his presence in the med room:

Physical Therapist: "So this is where you can get all your supplies....(rounding the corner and seeing me and my professor) Oh hey guys! This is Hot Guy, my new assistant."

Professor: "Hi Hot Guy, nice to meet you."

Me: (attempting to hang up the phone and dropping it into the garbage can) "Oh! Um. Hi! (pulling phone out of garbage and wiping it off) Nice to meet you! I dropped the phone in the garbage! (hanging up phone on receiver and bouncing hip off garbage can in process) Ha! Ha."

Hot Guy: "Ha. (clearly feeling awkward, notices my Steelers badge holder thingy and attempts a subject change) Are you a Steelers fan?"

Me: (dropping binder with patient's med list) "Ha! Okay. (bending over to pick up binder while simultaneously showing off majority of asscrack) What?"

HG: (judging) "Are. You. A. Steelers. Fan."

Me: (straightening up to walk over to the Pyxis with the binder) "Oh! Yes! (shouting unnecessarily) BIG TIME!"

HG: (attempting to walk out the door with other Physical Therapist) "Cool. Well, nice meeting you..."

Me: (knocking over a different binder with a little paper cup of pills on top of it off of the Pyxis) "Did you see? The game on Sunday? Ha. Ha."

HG: (still trying to leave) "No, I missed it."

Me: (bending over and exposing asscrack while attempting to find tossed pills and shouting unnecessarily again) "IT SUCKED! Ha. They lost. To the Broncos."

HG: (finally out the door) "Oh..." (lets the door close)

Me: (talking to no one at this point) "In the last minutes! Broncos had a field goal. Number one worst rated defense in the NFL and they beat us. (mumbling) Rough game." (turning to look at Professor)

Professor: (leaning against counter and laughing with silent judgment) "Okay. Let's get your meds together...."

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Important Question Revisited

Smurf, this is mostly for you:

If you don't know who T-Pain is, stick your index finger into your mouth, pull your cheek away from your gums and say "Gon' buy you a draaaaaank" in a slightly high-pitched voice. I guarantee you'll figure out who he is REAL quick.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

I Have An Important Question!

I have already broached this subject with the people sitting at my table at Marci's wedding today, but their answers were rather unsatisfactory, so I'm leaving it up to you, my faithful readers, to help me get to the bottom of this:

Do you think T-Pain brings his own synthesizer to the studio when he collaborates with other artists?

Friday, October 5, 2007


Snaps to Jonathan for the hook up.

Which Office Character Are You?

You are part Michael. Deep down, you are caring and good-natured, but you often express yourself in insensitive ways. Though you always try your hardest to make your talents be seen, you could use a little more self-awareness to avoid being awkward.
You are part Jim. You are personable, easy-going, and always socially aware. Your great sense of humor and impishness soften the blow of what might otherwise be a dark, cutting cynicism.
Find Your Character @

Nordstrom Rack

Today I stumbled upon a Nordstrom Rack in the ghetto that is Colma, California. For those of you not in-the-know, Nordstrom Rack is basically the Nordstrom super outlet. I walked in with some hesitation, as all I really wanted was a pair of the Nordstrom jeans that I so adored. As soon as I arrived I realized that I had entered a bargain shopper's mecca. Apparently The Rack, as I've come to know it, receives new shipments each Friday morning, so my timing was impeccable. I wandered over to a rack of knitwear and almost peed a little in my pants when I started to look at the price tags. Forty percent off! Sixty percent off! NINETY-FIVE PERCENT OFF!!!! I was overwhelmed by the hunger for fashion that took over my body and went into a shopping craze. Two hours later, after bypassing a ninety-nine dollar pair of Ugg boots (normally two hundred), a forty dollar perfume box set (normally seventy five) and fourteen different tops that I determined I could live without, I emerged from the store with two sweaters that normally cost about a hundred dollars each (not exaggerating) and a normally sixty dollar pair of CUTE shoes for the low low total price of just $67.55. Inside that Nordstrom Rack I was forced to make some of the toughest decisions I have ever encountered (I'm still debating about those boots - how often do you find real Uggs in a women's size 11?!) but all in all it was an amazing experience that I look forward to enjoying again on a random Friday morning in the near future.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Best Week Ever


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Helloooooo sailors....

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And I thought I was going to be bored all week.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Another F-ing AIM Blog

[16:32] Vanessa2you: you have to be way more obvious than just giving him your old phone
[16:32] Vanessa2you: you have to make vague plans and then tell him to call you to solidify them
[16:32] Vanessa2you: then he'll be like "wait I don't think you have your number"
[16:32] Vanessa2you: then give it to him
[16:32] Vanessa2you: duh
[16:32] gfunkyg15: you're better at this than I am
[16:33] Vanessa2you: how do you think I score all my men?
[16:33] Vanessa2you: I watch a lot of TV
[16:33] gfunkyg15: hahaha
[16:33] gfunkyg15: I just want to know for sure that he likes me so I can take the next step
[16:33] gfunkyg15: the next step being do him
[16:34] Vanessa2you: oh goodness
[16:34] Vanessa2you: that sounds like a fun step
[16:34] gfunkyg15: its a big one, but I am willing to take itr
[16:34] Vanessa2you: I need to pray to Jesus
[16:34] Vanessa2you: for a man
[16:34] Vanessa2you: to come and put his peepee in me
[16:34] gfunkyg15: i will pray to jesus for a man for you
[16:34] Vanessa2you: thank you
[16:34] gfunkyg15: none of that good vibe shit
[16:34] Vanessa2you: but he probably won't listen because you're a Harry Potter-loving Jew
[16:35] gfunkyg15: good old fashioned praying
[16:35] gfunkyg15: maybe I should change my religion back... [check out Gen's Facebook for her current religious preferences and some back story on the joke.]
[16:35] gfunkyg15: nah, jesus knows a joke when he sees one
[16:35] Vanessa2you: prostrate yourself in the direction of UCSF and pray for hottie surgical intern to do me
[16:35] Vanessa2you: dude you KNOW Jesus loves a good joke
[16:35] gfunkyg15: will do
[16:35] Vanessa2you: I mean, what a cool guy
[16:35] Vanessa2you: he GETS it
[16:35] gfunkyg15: we're like this
[16:36] gfunkyg15: (i just crossed my fingers)
[16:36] Vanessa2you: oh of course

My Humps

Every time I drive up the street to my house, I see this:

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And instead of this:

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All I can think about is this:

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(In very fast motion, of course.)

In other news, Britney's kids got taken away, Seth Rogen is sexy as hell, etc. etc.