Mary Katherine Gallagher in the Med Room

Let me begin this post by explaining the intricacies of working in a hospital environment. On each floor there is a med room that usually houses only a giant Pyxis machine that dispenses medications, a shelf full of syringes and shit, a counter with a sink, and some garbage cans. There's another room on the floor that has all the clean linens and another Pyxis with patient supplies, like bedpans and IV tubes and stuff, called the clean utility room. On the fourth floor of the hospital where I work, I guess space is at a premium because these two rooms are combined into one. The worst part is that this one room is roughly the size of a large closet and set up in a very cramped manner. That being said, here is an educational diagram of the fourth floor med room, including colored dots depicting my placement in the room when the shit hit the fan:




Now that you understand the set up, let's delve right into the story. I was on the phone with the pharmacy trying to sound badass and convince them to send my patient their medications while my professor waited to log me into the Pyxis. The physical therapist walked in as I was hanging up the phone to introduce her new physical therapy assistant to us and to orient him to the med room. This assistant turned out to be sensationally hot, and the following is a true-to-life account of my actual reaction to his presence in the med room:

Physical Therapist: "So this is where you can get all your supplies....(rounding the corner and seeing me and my professor) Oh hey guys! This is Hot Guy, my new assistant."

Professor: "Hi Hot Guy, nice to meet you."

Me: (attempting to hang up the phone and dropping it into the garbage can) "Oh! Um. Hi! (pulling phone out of garbage and wiping it off) Nice to meet you! I dropped the phone in the garbage! (hanging up phone on receiver and bouncing hip off garbage can in process) Ha! Ha."

Hot Guy: "Ha. (clearly feeling awkward, notices my Steelers badge holder thingy and attempts a subject change) Are you a Steelers fan?"

Me: (dropping binder with patient's med list) "Ha! Okay. (bending over to pick up binder while simultaneously showing off majority of asscrack) What?"

HG: (judging) "Are. You. A. Steelers. Fan."

Me: (straightening up to walk over to the Pyxis with the binder) "Oh! Yes! (shouting unnecessarily) BIG TIME!"

HG: (attempting to walk out the door with other Physical Therapist) "Cool. Well, nice meeting you..."

Me: (knocking over a different binder with a little paper cup of pills on top of it off of the Pyxis) "Did you see? The game on Sunday? Ha. Ha."

HG: (still trying to leave) "No, I missed it."

Me: (bending over and exposing asscrack while attempting to find tossed pills and shouting unnecessarily again) "IT SUCKED! Ha. They lost. To the Broncos."

HG: (finally out the door) "Oh..." (lets the door close)

Me: (talking to no one at this point) "In the last minutes! Broncos had a field goal. Number one worst rated defense in the NFL and they beat us. (mumbling) Rough game." (turning to look at Professor)

Professor: (leaning against counter and laughing with silent judgment) "Okay. Let's get your meds together...."