Thursday, November 29, 2007
Shiiiiiiit....
I have a terrible feeling that I just sent an e-mail to everyone in my class instead of just the professor....
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Slasher
November is almost over. I have blogged once.
This is appalling.
How did I get so "busy"? Because really, I'm not that busy. Just LAZY. But honestly, does that surprise anyone?
I titled this blog "Slasher" and not "Slacker" because it's not about me being a slacker (really), it's about the surgery I'm getting on December 18th. I'm getting my throat slashed open and a parathyroid gland (or two, we're not sure yet) removed. When I say "throat slashed" I, of course, mean a tiny nick approximately the width of a penny will be made in the front of my neck. The incision is so small that I am actually embarrassed to be staying in the hospital. I decided to write about this via blog because whenever I mention that I'm getting surgery to someone over the phone or in person I get a horrified and semi-apologetic reaction, to the tune of "Oh I'm so sorry!" Don't be so sorry, it's really not a big deal at all. Now I can add one more part of my body to the list of organs I've had removed (two so far) and I get another cool scar to add to my ever-growing collection.
PS: Here's a visual for your enjoyment. The one that I'm getting removed is on the bottom, your left, my right.
This is appalling.
How did I get so "busy"? Because really, I'm not that busy. Just LAZY. But honestly, does that surprise anyone?
I titled this blog "Slasher" and not "Slacker" because it's not about me being a slacker (really), it's about the surgery I'm getting on December 18th. I'm getting my throat slashed open and a parathyroid gland (or two, we're not sure yet) removed. When I say "throat slashed" I, of course, mean a tiny nick approximately the width of a penny will be made in the front of my neck. The incision is so small that I am actually embarrassed to be staying in the hospital. I decided to write about this via blog because whenever I mention that I'm getting surgery to someone over the phone or in person I get a horrified and semi-apologetic reaction, to the tune of "Oh I'm so sorry!" Don't be so sorry, it's really not a big deal at all. Now I can add one more part of my body to the list of organs I've had removed (two so far) and I get another cool scar to add to my ever-growing collection.
PS: Here's a visual for your enjoyment. The one that I'm getting removed is on the bottom, your left, my right.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Douche Head
It has been like three weeks since my last blog and that is just unacceptable. Sorry for holding out on you readers, I've just been really busy doing nothing. I will kick off the holiday blog season with a little story about my number one German Shepherd friend and love of my life, Vinnie.
Many of you who already know Vinnie are aware of his deficit in, for lack of a better term, smarts. The product of a show dog and a police K-9, Vinnie can sit and stay wit the best of them but is the unfortunate victim of his own foolish antics. This is the dog who will chase a beam of light into a tree trunk. He has been known to eat yellow jackets, chase (and catch) his own tail, and go to great lengths to avoid walking near the living room heater. It's no surprise, then, that Vinnie is sufferent from a severe knowledge deficit when it comes to appropriate behavior around skunks. Most dogs would investigate a skunk, get sprayed, and avoid the animals if they ever were to come in contact with them again. Not our Vinnie. He just doesn't seem to understand that the black and white kitties don't want to play. Everytime he sees a skunk, without fail, he will not hesitate to run up to it and bark in its face until he is inevitably sprayed. This has caused quite a problem for my mother, who is constantly having to look up new remedies to rid the dog of skunk stink.
After Vinnie's most recent skunking, my mom (being the intrepid hipster that she is) Googled "dog skunk stink wash." She eventually came upon a webforum where a woman in a similar situation had posted an open letter asking for de-skunking advice. A helpful lady hailing from Michigan replied by saying that her vet had recommended using a vinegar-salt-water solution. This solution killed off the stink without fail every time. The only problem? How to use the solution around the sensitive eye area of the dogs. The fix? Douches. There are many salt-vinegar-water douches on the market that are made specifically to extricate vaginal stink but gentle enough not to harm the sensitive genital tissues. To wrap it all up, my mom bought a 3-pack of douches from Rite Aid, covered Vinnie's ample head in them, and was amazed by the results. It really did get rid of every trace of skunk on the dog. So next time you come over and pet Vinnie on the head, you can thank Rite Aid douches for keeping your hand from smelling like skunk.
Many of you who already know Vinnie are aware of his deficit in, for lack of a better term, smarts. The product of a show dog and a police K-9, Vinnie can sit and stay wit the best of them but is the unfortunate victim of his own foolish antics. This is the dog who will chase a beam of light into a tree trunk. He has been known to eat yellow jackets, chase (and catch) his own tail, and go to great lengths to avoid walking near the living room heater. It's no surprise, then, that Vinnie is sufferent from a severe knowledge deficit when it comes to appropriate behavior around skunks. Most dogs would investigate a skunk, get sprayed, and avoid the animals if they ever were to come in contact with them again. Not our Vinnie. He just doesn't seem to understand that the black and white kitties don't want to play. Everytime he sees a skunk, without fail, he will not hesitate to run up to it and bark in its face until he is inevitably sprayed. This has caused quite a problem for my mother, who is constantly having to look up new remedies to rid the dog of skunk stink.
After Vinnie's most recent skunking, my mom (being the intrepid hipster that she is) Googled "dog skunk stink wash." She eventually came upon a webforum where a woman in a similar situation had posted an open letter asking for de-skunking advice. A helpful lady hailing from Michigan replied by saying that her vet had recommended using a vinegar-salt-water solution. This solution killed off the stink without fail every time. The only problem? How to use the solution around the sensitive eye area of the dogs. The fix? Douches. There are many salt-vinegar-water douches on the market that are made specifically to extricate vaginal stink but gentle enough not to harm the sensitive genital tissues. To wrap it all up, my mom bought a 3-pack of douches from Rite Aid, covered Vinnie's ample head in them, and was amazed by the results. It really did get rid of every trace of skunk on the dog. So next time you come over and pet Vinnie on the head, you can thank Rite Aid douches for keeping your hand from smelling like skunk.
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