Ahh, Independence Day, the most boring holiday our nation has to offer! Of course I had to celebrate because it was also Genevieve's 21st birthday! Now, in no particular order, the top ten reasons I love Gen:
1. She is a Jew.
2. She has curly curly Jew hair.
3. Her supreme hatred of all things Asian, including but not limited to Asian drivers, Asian designs, Asian art, etc.
4. How well she handles her liquor - with a lesser woman, yesterday's celebration could have gotten rather ugly.
5. The way that she managed to go to private snobby schools for the last six years and only be elitist in her quest for Ugg boots and her distaste for the Asian nation.
6. How gay she is for Ben Folds.
7. The way that she always makes sure we don't go too long without talking or seeing each other.
8. The fact that she has never farted on me, unlike most of my other friends (ANNE).
9. She can burp so loudly that it scares my pets, which is both impressive and attractive.
10. Her big big boobies.
Happy Birthday Jew, I hope you had as good a time at your fiesta as I did.
A quick highlight from the afterparty at the Kellers' with Uncle Rick:
Mark "Super Sup" Keller (while sitting outside on the deck with fireworks exploding all over the place): "God damn, this sounds like we're in Oakland."
Stay classy, Mark.
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3 comments:
i am so sad that you think 4th of july is the most boring holiday we have!! it's one of my favorites!! It's like celebrating summer... how could you not love that?!!?
I would enjoy a celebration of summer...perhaps a solstice holiday? Fourth of July, however, is a celebration of America that has somehow morphed into a redneck's dream of beer, BBQ, and pyrotechnics. Not my cup of tea to say the least.
Oh Jew. I love her.
And Super Supe is pretty awesome himself.
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